


Is There In Truth, No Justice?

by PatL



Category: Starsky and Hutch - Fandom
Genre: A Post-Sweet Revenge story, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2003-05-05
Updated: 2003-05-05
Packaged: 2017-10-08 20:26:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 30,495
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/79218
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PatL/pseuds/PatL
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It's been a year since Starsky was nearly killed by Gunther's men, and he's ready to go back to work. But, is Hutch?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

He noticed the lines around his eyes, lines that hadn't been there before. He couldn't believe how old he looked. The mirror always told the truth, though, always showed him more than he wanted to see. *Mirror, mirror on the wall, who's the tiredest cop of all?* He laughed bitterly at his own joke. *Sleeping Beauty, you're not*.  
He had believed in his life and his job as a cop. He had spent so many years searching for a career that was meaningful. Life wasn't just about taking; it was about giving, too. He knew he was just one of many, but what he was doing mattered. Every time someone was kidnapped, or raped, or murdered, he was needed. The innocent needed him, and the guilty feared him. He caught them, the courts prosecuted them, and hopefully, the judge sentenced them. It was all in the name of duty.   
With each horrifying case, he kept getting older. He only had to look in the mirror to see that. He seemed to have aged 10 years in the last couple of weeks. How many cases had he worked this month? The crime rate kept going up, but the number of available detectives stayed the same. There were never enough hours in the day any more. He couldn't remember the last time he'd had a weekend off. He sighed. He knew he wasn't the only tired cop. It was the same everywhere.

 

Detective Sergeant Ken Hutchinson walked out of the bathroom with a towel wrapped around his waist. He dressed in a pair of white boxer shorts, brown corduroy pants and a tan long-sleeved shirt then slipped his shoulder holster over his shirt. He pawed through a dresser drawer until he found a clean pair of socks, and sat down on the bed to put them on. As he slipped his feet into the tan loafers he kicked off the night before, he shook his head sadly. Even a simple task like getting dressed was almost too much for him. Why was he suddenly so damned tired? He went back into the bathroom to comb his hair.   
*I really should get a haircut. Maybe the moustache needs to go, too.* He threw the comb down on the vanity. *What does it matter? Does anything matter anymore, really?*  
He thought back over the last year. He could still hear the sound of metal scraping against metal as the police cruiser pulled out and sped toward his partner. The sound of the machine gun was like a dozen firecrackers going off all at once. He'd screamed at Starsky to get down, but it was too late. Gunther's men had already achieved their goal. Starsky was down, and damned near out for good.   
Although he should have died, and did die for a few minutes, a miracle brought him back from the brink. Starsky lived, and after months of painful therapy and rehabilitation, the dark haired detective was ready to go back to active duty. Hutch had been with him all the way, cheering him on when he was tempted to give up. Now, as the day grew nearer, all of Hutch's self-doubts were resurfacing.   
It hadn't been easy. Starsky was out on medical leave, but Hutch couldn't afford to take the year off while he waited for his partner to mend. Dobey knew better than to assign a new partner as a replacement for Starsky, so he did the next best thing. Hutch was teamed with new detectives, training them for a period of eight weeks. The new men would reap the benefits of having a seasoned partner, but would be rotated safely away from the blond's mercurial temper. Hutch could endure a new partner for only a short time, then the frustration at not having his real partner would become intolerable and he would explode, venting his anger at whoever was unfortunate enough to be close by.   
Hutch shrugged off his depression and reached for the phone. He had to choose his words carefully, and his tone of voice. Starsky could see through the telephone lines, into his eyes and deep into his soul. If Starsky saw the darkness that was threatening to swallow his partner, he would be on the blond's doorstep in a heartbeat.   
The voice on the other end was irritatingly cheerful. "Starsky here."  
"Hey, it's me. How are you this morning?"  
"Hutch, you just left me eight hours ago. How do you think I am?"  
"Eight and a half, but who's counting? Did you sleep well?"  
"Yes, mom. I even remembered to brush my teeth and wash behind my ears before I went to bed."  
Hutch chuckled in spite of himself. "Well, I would have stayed to tuck you in, but I was afraid the neighbours would talk."  
"Heaven forbid. So, who are you torturing this week?"  
"Training, Starsky. I'm training, remember? I am molding raw, inexperienced recruits into experienced detectives, for the good of the community."  
"God, you sound like an ad for the academy. Who's the unlucky recruit this week?"  
"Johnson. He's a good kid. He's got a good head on his shoulders." *He's not you, Starsky.*  
"That's good. You two gettin' along all right?"  
"Yeah, I guess." *He's a stranger. He's not my partner.*  
"Well, don't be too hard on him. You don't want to scare him off."  
"I won't, don't worry." *Maybe I should. He'd stay alive that way.*  
"Yeah, right. We still on for Huggy's? I'm gettin' cabin fever here."  
"Yeah, I'll be by as soon as I get off work. I won't be late. Dobey's too smart to assign anything serious to these greenhorns."  
He could hear the grin in Starsky's voice. "We were greenhorns once, remember? Take it easy on the kid. I'll see ya tonight."  
"Sure, I'll be there around six." Hutch dropped the receiver on the hook and tapped it lightly. *We were greenhorns once? When was that, Starsk? It feels like a million years ago.*  
Hutch put on his black leather jacket to conceal the holster, and looked around the apartment, making sure all the lights were off. He took a deep breath and let it out slowly, bracing himself for another day. The only bright spot was the kid, as Starsky called him. Johnson really was one of the brightest new detectives on the force. His instincts were good, and he didn't make the fatal mistake of thinking he knew it all. Plus, he had the energy and strong convictions that came with youth. He was going to jump into the swing of things and knock the heads off of a few snakes. Hutch looked at himself in the rear-view mirror, and smiled grimly. *And if he's really lucky, it will be a long time before one of those snakes turns around and bites him.*  
He made it through the day, somehow, and said a quick good-bye to Johnson. Briefly, he thought about the evaluation that he would write after Johnson's rotation was over. He hoped Dobey would accept his recommendation that Johnson be paired with another detective permanently, and remain with the 9th Precinct. They were shorthanded, and Johnson looked like the cream of the latest crop.   
Starsky was raring to go when the brown Ford pulled up in front of his apartment, and jumped into Hutch's car almost before it was completely stopped. His eagerness for a night out was evident when he didn't even gripe about taking Hutch's dilapidated LTD. He grinned as Hutch pulled away from the curb.  
"Man, am I glad to see you! I swear the walls were startin' to close in on me. I feel like a prisoner out on parole."  
Hutch reached over and patted his friend on the knee. "I know, buddy. But, it won't be for much longer. You'll be tearing up the streets again before you know it."  
Starsky sighed. "I guess so. Sittin' around all day was fine as long as I was still healing, but I'm stronger now. This convalescing stuff is for the birds." His face brightened and he turned to face Hutch. "Hey, I go for my last therapy session Monday. Then I get to see the doctor, and he'll tell me when I can go before the board and get certified for active duty. Isn't that great?"  
Hutch pasted a smile on his face. "Yeah, that's great, Starsk. It's been a hard road, I know, but you're almost there. "  
Starsky grinned and rubbed his hands together. "I can't wait."  
Hutch stared at the road ahead. *I can. God help me, I can*

The Pits was still quiet when they arrived. Most of Huggy's customers were night owls, so the bar wouldn't really start jumping for a few hours yet. Hutch parked the car, and followed his energetic partner inside. Huggy was behind the bar, helping Diane, his senior barmaid, prepare for the busy night ahead. Huggy grinned when he saw them and sauntered over.  
"Well, if it isn't the dynamic duo! The food is the best, and in a while the joint will be jumping, so what'll you have, fellas?"  
Starsky plopped down on a barstool. "Hi'ya Hug. I'm as hungry as a bear and rarin' to go, so let the party begin!"  
Hutch pointed a finger at his partner. "Starsk."  
"Loosen up, Blintz. I said I'd behave, and I will, but can't I have some fun, too? You gotta stop worrying about me some time. I ain't gonna break."  
This time, his smile was genuine. "I know you're not. Go ahead, enjoy yourself. You've earned it."  
Starsky grinned back then turned to the black proprietor. "In that case, I'll have a Huggy's special and a beer. What about you, buddy?"  
"I'll have the same, Huggy, and no onions, on both."  
Starsky pouted. "Awww, Hutch."  
"You heard me, Starsk. You don't want to pay for tonight with a bad case of indigestion, do you?"  
"No, I guess not. But, I am having the beer. I haven't had to take my pain medication for a long time, so a couple of beers won't hurt."  
Huggy sat two bottles of beer and two glasses in front of them and lifted his own in a toast. "Here you go amigos. Enjoy."  
Huggy's brown eyes met Hutch's blue ones. *He needs to let his hair down for a change, Blondie.  
I know, Hug.  
So, don't rain on his parade, OK?*  
Hutch lifted his own glass, and took a sip. *I'll try, Hug, I promise*.  
For a while, it was like old times. They ate, played pool, and talked the night away. The blond detective pushed all thoughts of the future aside, and watched his partner enjoying himself for the first time in months. Maybe it was going to be all right, after all.  
The night passed too quickly for both men. They went back to Starsky's after closing the Pits, and Hutch collapsed on the couch, too tired to drive home. The next morning, they stopped back by the bar long enough to pick up a picnic basket filled with goodies, and drove to the beach. Starsky had lost a lot of weight after the shooting, so Hutch and Huggy had conspired to put the weight back on the too-thin detective. Huggy had packed the basket with Starsky's favorite foods, toned down a bit for his post-Gunther constitution. He had also included a salad, and grilled chicken for Hutch, as a gentle rebuke of the blond's waning interest in his own physical condition.   
They spread a blanket under a large tree, and stepped behind the tree to undress. Both men had put on their swim trunks under their clothes, so all they had to do was take off their trousers, shirts, shoes and socks, and lay them on the blanket. They left the basket in the shade of the large Oak and headed for the water. Hutch felt the tension leave his muscles as he swam in the cool water. Then he turned over and floated on his back as he watched Starsky gradually fall into a comfortable rhythm, kicking with his legs, and taking strong strokes with his arms. He fought the impulse to caution Starsky about getting too tired, or too far out in the ocean.   
*That's great, Hutchinson. If you can't watch him swim without panicking, how the Hell are you going to handle him going back on active duty?* He resolutely pushed the thought aside, and focused on his friend. He'd cross that particular bridge when he came to it.   
The day passed without any problems, and ended with a friendly game of chess after dinner. Starsky won, as usual. For once, Hutch was grateful for his friend's constant stream of chatter. It kept Starsky from noticing how preoccupied he was. Saturday night turned into Sunday, and before they knew it, the weekend was over. Hutch wished it could last forever.   
Now, it was Monday morning and Hutch was arguing with his reflection in the mirror, again. Starsky was excited about today, but Hutch was terrified. He knew what the day would bring and prayed that he could keep his true feelings from Starsky for a while longer. How could he tell Starsky that the one thing his best friend wanted most was the last thing Hutch wanted? *You're going to kill him. You know that, don't you? He's fought so hard for this. How can you tell him that you don't want to be a cop any more?* There, he'd finally admitted it to himself. The thought of Starsky going back into the gutters and all of the muck made him sick to his stomach. He closed his eyes and caught his breath in a tiny sob. *Haven't we been through enough, Starsk? Do we have to go back for another round?*  
Hutch cursed under his breath and turned the bathroom light off with an angry slap. Feeling sorry for himself wasn't getting him anywhere. This mess wasn't going to go away. He stalked out of the apartment and slammed the door behind him. When he got to the station, he took a moment to get his emotions in check. He knew that he'd been hard to live with over the past year, and it wasn't fair to take his anger out on the rest of the department. Hutch pushed all thoughts of Starsky out of his head and concentrated on the reports that lay on his desk. He smiled wryly to himself. He never thought he'd be grateful for paperwork, but now it was a steady anchor in a tempestuous sea of conflicting emotions. He was finishing up the last report when Rich Johnson came up to his desk.   
"Are you busy, Sarge?" It was funny how none of the men he'd trained called him "Hutch". It was almost as if they knew that name was reserved for only one partner: Starsky.   
"Nope. I'm just working on this never-ending pile of paperwork. How's it going, Johnson?"  
"It's going great. Captain Dobey just told me that he was assigning me to Detective Moore. I'm staying with the 9th! I know that evaluation you gave me had a lot to do with it, and I wanted to thank you. I couldn't have done it without you. I feel like I learned a lot in the past two months."  
"I'm glad. Congratulations, Johnson. We need some really good men, and I think you'll be a real asset to the force." He waved an admonishing finger at the younger man. "Just don't get the big head. Being over confident will get you hurt, real fast."  
"I know, Sarge. I won't forget. Well, I'd better go find Detective Moore. Thanks again, Sarge. I'll be seeing you around."  
"Sure, Rich. Take it easy." Hutch watched the eager man walk away and felt a stabbing pain in his chest. *Take care of yourself, kid. Don't let the slime suck you under.*  
He was just about to log out for the day when the phone rang. He scooped it up. "Hutchinson."  
"Hey, it's me. You about ready to wrap it up?"  
"Yeah, I was on my way out the door. Are you hungry? You want me to pick something up on my way over?"  
"Nah, don't worry about that. I've got it all taken care of. Just get your carcass over here. We've got some celebrating to do."  
Hutch stood for a minute, thinking. His heart sank as he realized there was only one thing Starsky would celebrate: his reinstatement. Now that the day had finally arrived, Hutch didn't know how he was going to cope with their return to duty. How could he pretend to his best friend that he was happy when he was so miserable? He stiffened his shoulders and stalked out the door, preparing himself for the show that he would have to put on.  
He alternated between arguing with himself and practicing his smile for when he heard the good news. He sighed, frustrated. Starsky knew him too well. He'd never pull it off. When he pulled up in front of Starsky's apartment, he pasted a cheery smile on his face and went in. He stopped just inside the door, stunned. Starsky had gone all out, covering the table with a white cloth and setting out candles. The smell of steaks cooking on the stove should have made his mouth water, but Hutch's appetite was long gone.  
Starsky grinned at his friend while he put the final touches on a salad.   
"It's about time you got here. The steaks are about ready, the potatoes are staying warm in the oven and I'm tossing the salad now. Go wash up and have a seat."  
The blond's cheerful tone mocked his churning stomach. "It smells great, Starsk. What did you do, spend the whole day cooking?"  
"Nope, just most of it. Go on, get washed up. I don't know about you, but I'm starved."  
Hutch washed his hands and sat down at the table. An ice bucket sitting beside him caught his eye, and he winced.   
"You bought champagne? That's a – nice touch, Starsk."  
"Hey, nothing's too good for my partner."  
He reached in his pocket and pulled out two cigars. He grinned as he put one in Hutch's mouth.  
"And to prove what a nice guy I am, I even got you a cigar. I know you usually give them out when you have a baby, and there are no babies here, but this is a kind of rebirth. So, I figured what the hell? It ain't every day that I can put on the Ritz for my best friend."  
Hutch's smile didn't reach his eyes. "So, your therapy session went that well?"  
The grin he got in response was full wattage. "Yep. I got a clean bill of health and talked to the doctor. He's gonna certify me fit for duty and recommend reinstatement. With a little luck, I'll be back on duty in a couple of weeks. Ain't that great, Hutch?"  
The blond cleared his throat. "Isn't that a little soon, Starsky? I mean, you don't want to rush it."  
"Are you kidding? I've been waiting for over a year to go back to work! If I had my way, I'd go back tomorrow, but Cap says I have to wait until the board reinstates me and that might take a week or two."  
Hutch looked up, the food on his plate forgotten. "You talked to Dobey? When?"  
"After I got out of the doctor's office."  
Starsky wiped his hands on a paper towel and took a drink of his champagne. "You don't sound too happy, partner. What's the matter?"  
"Nothing's the matter, Starsk. I just…I'm not sure if you're ready. You damn near died. It's going to take some time to get over that and I don't want to see you hurt yourself."  
Starsky jumped up, and paced for a minute then turned back to Hutch. "I can't believe what I'm hearing! What is this? I've been busting my ass to get back on the force and now that I finally did it, you're stonewalling me. I thought you'd understand, Hutch."  
He stood up, and tried to put his hand on Starsky's shoulder, but the brunette backed away. "I do understand, Starsky. I just don't want you to do anything you'll be sorry for later."  
Indigo eyes flashed with anger. "That's easy for you to say, partner! You're not the one that's been stuck in this apartment for months, climbing the walls."   
Steel blue eyes flashed back. "Oh, yeah, I've been having the time of my life. I just love babysitting a bunch of raw recruits. Wiping their noses is the high point of my day!"  
"Well, excuse me if I'm not crying in my beer. If you hate it so much, why don't you quit?"  
Hutch clenched his jaw and shook his finger at the other man. "Don't tempt me!"  
Starsky's face paled and he sat down in the chair. The blond fervently wished he could grab the words and squeeze them until they disappeared.   
*Congratulations, Hutchinson. You've really done it this time. He's happier than he's been since the shooting. Did you have to bring him down by dumping your own baggage on him? Why don't you just rip his heart out while you're at it?*

 

Starsky looked at his friend, amazed at what he'd heard. "You don't mean that. Do you?"  
Hutch looked down, unable to meet Starsky's eyes.   
"My God. You do mean it." Anger and pain were mixed in his words. Starsky slumped back in the chair, numb. "Well. I've been concentrating on myself for too long, I see. Why, Hutch?"  
All the stress and fear that he'd felt came tumbling out. "Why? I saw you die, Starsky! I watched them put you back together with a hope and a prayer. I watched you struggle through the pain and the therapy, and for what? So you can go back and let someone else finish the job next time?"  
Hutch turned away and lowered his voice. "Did you know the sound of bullets striking flesh is exactly like the sound of a fist punching your gut? I know. I hear that sound every time I close my eyes."  
He collapsed back onto the couch and put his face in his hands. "I don't think I'll ever stop hearing that sound, Starsk." He raised his head, and two pairs of blue eyes bored into each other. "You're asking too much of me, partner. I don't know if I can go through that again."  
Starsky's voice was barely above a whisper. "So, what do you want to do?"  
Hutch ran his fingers through his hair. "That's just it. I don't know what I want, Starsk." He sat forward and put his hand on Starsky's arm. "I don't mean to drag you down, buddy. I know how hard you've worked to get back what you lost. I just don't know if I feel the same way."  
"So, where do we go from here?"  
Hutch spread his hands out and shrugged. "I don't know. All I do know is every time I think about getting back on the streets; it makes me sick to my stomach. I don't know if I can do it again, Starsk."  
The brunette paced around the room, gathering his thoughts. He shook his head sadly. "All this time, and you never said anything about how you felt. Why didn't you tell me?"  
Hutch raised his hands and dropped them back down. "You were trying so damned hard! I didn't want to bring you down with my doubts. All you wanted was to get back to work. How was I supposed to tell you that going back in the gutters was the last thing I wanted? I couldn't do that to you, buddy."  
Starsky gazed steadily at his friend and spoke softly. "We're partners, Hutch. I don't want to go back out there if you aren't going, too."  
All the pain and self-loathing that Hutch felt was evident in his words. "I don't know if I can, Starsk. God help me, I just don't know."  
The two men sat on the couch, not touching. The food lay on the table, forgotten. Suddenly, there wasn't anything to celebrate and their future seemed as bleak as the expression on their faces.

The next morning, Starsky knocked on the door to Dobey's office then walked in, alone. Their captain favored him with a rare smile.  
"Congratulations, Starsky. I know how much you've wanted this day to come, and I'm glad it's finally here. How does it feel to be on your way back?"  
Starsky gave him a wan smile. "It feels great, Cap, or at least, it did."  
Dobey frowned. "What does that mean? You've been pushing yourself to the limit to get back on active duty. You have every right to be proud of yourself."  
"I am proud of myself, Cap. The doc says I'm ready, and more important, I know I'm ready. It's Hutch that I'm not sure about."  
"Why? What's going on with Hutchinson?"  
Starsky looked down at his hands. He couldn't conceal the pain in his voice. "Cap, Hutch is thinking about resigning. I don't know how long he's been thinking about it, but he told me last night."   
Dobey thought about the past year and beyond, and berated himself silently. He should have seen it before now. The long hair, the mustache, and the extra few pounds here and there all signaled a cop nearing burn out. So did the headaches, the sour moods, and the anger that always simmered beneath the surface. When had one of his best detectives decided it just wasn't worth it anymore? Dobey knew with certainty that it was long before Gunther and his men tried to kill Starsky.   
He sat back and looked up at his man. "I'm sorry, Starsky. I know how much this means to you. Was he able to talk about it?"  
Starsky sighed woefully. "He says he can't get past what happened. We've had close calls before, but this one really got to him. But, I don't buy it, Cap. I think there's something more bothering him, but he won't tell me what it is."  
Now it was Dobey's turn to sigh. "I've been thinking the same thing myself. So, what are you going to do?"  
"I need to get him away from here for a while. You said it would be a couple of weeks before I can go before the board. We need to work this out before we go back on the streets and I don't think we can do that in Bay City."  
"Do you have any idea where you want to go?"  
"No. I mean, this isn't just a vacation, Cap. There's something heavy going on with Hutch and I have to get to the bottom of it before it's too late. All I know is; we need this time, to get back what we've lost over the past couple of years. Where do you go to do that?"  
"I wish I had some answers for you, Starsky, but I don't. Tell Hutch that I'll put him on administrative leave as of tomorrow. I'm going to list Post Traumatic Stress Disorder as the reason for leave." He held up a finger before Starsky could say anything. "Now, tell him not to blow a gasket. That just entitles him to paid leave up to a month. You tell him I don't want to see him back here until he has his head screwed back on straight."  
Starsky smiled gratefully. "OK, Cap, I'll tell him. Thanks."  
He turned to leave, but Dobey stopped him. "Just let me know where you're going. And, Starsky, stay in touch."  
Starsky gave a mock salute. "We will, Cap. See ya."

Hutch wasn't as enthusiastic as Dobey had been when Starsky told him of his plan.  
"I don't know, Starsk. I don't think a couple weeks away are going to help anything. I mean, isn't that just postponing the inevitable?"  
Starsky's eyes flashed. "Don't you think our partnership is worth going away for a couple of weeks?"  
"Of course it is, Starsky. That's not what I meant. But you're expecting a miracle and I'm not sure I can give you one. What's going to happen in two weeks that will make me change the way I feel?"  
"We can talk, for one thing. I mean really talk, not just bull shit each other. Something's going on with you and what affects you, affects both of us."  
Hutch put his head in his hands, suddenly very tired. His words were muffled when he spoke. "What is there to say that we haven't already said? You want to be a cop, and I don't. How do we get around that?"   
"You can start out by telling me why you don't want to be a cop. And I don't mean just Gunther. There's more to this than you're telling me and I think I have the right to know what it is."  
"Are you sure you want to hear what I have to say?"  
"I have to hear it, Hutch. How else am I supposed to know what's happening with you?"  
The blond shrugged in surrender. "OK, you talked me into it. So, where do you want to go?"  
"I got an idea, but only if you agree to it."  
Hutch sat down and crossed his legs. "Shoot."  
"Well, do you remember me telling you that my Uncle Archie died a few months back?"  
"I thought he died when he was trying to start his Model A Ford?"  
"No, that was my Uncle Alfonse."  
Hutch rolled his eyes. "I think I need a score card to keep up with your family, Starsk."  
Starsky looked offended. "Hey, it isn't my fault that I have a large family! Anyway, Uncle Archie and Aunt Gertie had this place up in Lamont. That's close to Bakersfield, about a hundred miles from here. After Uncle Archie died, Aunt Gertie moved back in with her daughter. She's wanted to sell their house, but she doesn't have any one to clean up the place for her before she sells it. Lamont is a quiet little town, far away from the woods and there are no satanic cults hanging around. I figured we could stay in the house while we spruce it up a little, and then Aunt Gertie can sell it after we get back. We wouldn't have to worry about staying in a hotel, or living out of a suitcase while we're gone."  
"You know, Starsk, that isn't a bad idea. It's close to Bay City, so it won't take long to get there, and I could use a little peace and quiet. I'm game if you are."  
Starsky grinned. "Great! I'll call Gertie and tell her the news. She said she left the keys to the house at the realtor's office in Lamont, so we won't have to worry about that. You think you can be ready in a couple of days?"  
"Sure. I'll have my next-door neighbor, Mary Jo, take care of my plants, and she can keep an eye on my apartment while I'm gone. I'll let my landlord know that I'm going out of town, so he won't think I've skipped out on my lease."  
"Sounds like a plan to me." He laid his hand on the blond's shoulder. "This will be good for us, Hutch. We'll work things out, you'll see."  
"I hope so, Starsky, for both our sakes." He yawned and stretched his arms. "I'm beat. I think I'll go home and make a few calls, and start packing. I'll come over tomorrow, and we'll have lunch."  
Starsky grinned. "What about breakfast?"  
Hutch grinned back. "Hey, I'm on vacation. I'm going to sleep in, for once."  
Starsky waited until Hutch left and called his Aunt Gertrude.  
"Hi Aunt Gertie. It's David."  
"Davy! How are you, honey?"  
"I'm great. I talked to Hutch, and he's all set to go."  
"That's great, honey. I can't tell you how much this means to me. When Archie got sick, God rest his soul, he couldn't do much around the place, so it got away from us. I tried to take care of the house, but I just couldn't get out in the yard and do a lot of work. I don't know how I'll ever repay you."  
"Don't worry about it, Aunt Gertie. We needed a place to stay, and you need the help. It works out for both of us."  
"That's true. I know how anxious you are to go back to work, but you and Hutch have to take care of each other. You just take your time and stay as long as you want. It'll work out for the best, you'll see."  
Starsky chuckled. "Now you sound like Ma."  
"Well, your mother knows what's best for you. She knows how much you and Hutch mean to each other. Whatever's going on, you'll be OK as long as you're together. Now, the keys are at Castleman's Real Estate, in Lamont. You won't have trouble finding it, because it's the only real estate office in town. I left all of the dishes and furniture in the house, so all you'll need is your clothes and personal stuff. There are some outbuildings on the property, and the small one right behind the house was Archie's workshop. He has all kinds of tools in there, to help with the yard work and such. The barn is old, but there's still a tractor and a few implements in there, and they still work as far as I know. The people in Lamont are really friendly, and if you tell them that you're my great-nephew, they'll treat you and Ken like family. Our place is only a few miles outside of town, and Sam Castleman can give you directions when you get to Lamont."  
Starsky was writing notes on a pad as she talked. "What about the electricity and stuff? Are the utilities on?"  
"No, I had them shut off when I left, but I'll call first thing in the morning and have them turned back on. The house does have central air, so I'll call Sears and have them run out and check it. Everything should be ready for you when you get there. Do you know when you're leaving yet?"  
"The day after tomorrow. We have a few things to clear up here then we'll be on our way."  
"Well, you have my number here, and Sam will have any emergency numbers that you might need. Have a good time, Davy, and don't overdo. You and Ken can stay as long as you want. I'm not in a big hurry to sell the place. There are a lot of good memories in that old house. I just can't handle the place any more by myself."  
"I know Aunt Gertie, and thanks. This means a lot to me, and Hutch."  
"You're welcome, Davy. I love you."  
Starsky smiled. "I love you, too, Aunt Gertie.'Bye."

Two days later, they were ready to go, after the customary argument over transportation, that is.   
"Hutch, I am NOT taking that hunk-o-junk you call a car! I don't want to be stuck on the highway, waiting for Joe's Wrecker Service to rescue us when that heap breaks down."  
Instead of making his usual comeback, Hutch's voice was somber. "Starsk, are you honestly ready to get back into the Torino?"  
"I have to get back into it some time, buddy. Besides, you know how much that car means to me. I'm not going to let a creep like Gunther take it away. God knows he's taken enough already."  
Hutch sighed. "OK. I'll follow you to Merle's, and we can pick it up. We don't have that much stuff, so we should be able to get it all in the trunk and back seat."  
Starsky followed him down to the LTD. Before they climbed in, Hutch stopped him with another look.  
"You're sure you want to do this, Starsk?"  
"I'm sure. Come on, we can be in Lamont by dinner time."  
Neither man said anything on the way to Merle's garage. The unconventional black mechanic met them at the gate.   
"Starskinton! How'ya doin? Did ya come to get the tomato out of mothballs, finally?"  
Starsky grinned. "Yep. I got my drivin' privileges back and me and Hutch are takin' a trip. I won't trust that heap of his past the city limits."  
Merle's eyes twinkled as he turned to Hutch. "You mean you ain't put that junk heap out of its misery yet? What are you waitin' for? Divine intervention?"  
Starsky guffawed behind Hutch's back. "You tell'im, Merle."  
"I'll have you both know that my car is just fine, thank-you. It's just got.....character."  
Merle chortled. "Character? From what? Homer's Odyssey?"  
"Ha. Ha. You're both a couple of regular comedians."  
Starsky couldn't see the wink that Hutch gave Merle. Merle led them to a small garage, and went inside. With a flourish, he pulled the tarp away, revealing the Torino.   
Starsky stood for a moment, looking at his car. Despite Merle's eccentric personality, he was a top-rate body man. The Torino gleamed in the sunlight, restored to all of its glory. All traces of that horrible day were gone. Merle and Hutch stood silently as he walked slowly around his car. Even the interior had been replaced, with new leather seats and carpet. The dash had been shined to a bright luster, and all the nicks caused by broken glass had disappeared. The brunette completed the circle and stood beside the other two men.  
"It's beautiful. Thanks, Merle. You did a fantastic job."  
"Of course. I am Merle, the Earl, after all. Wait until you check under the hood. She's all tuned up and ready to go."   
He walked into the main garage and came out a moment later. He tossed the keys to Starsky.  
"Here you go. She's got a full tank of gas, too."  
Starsky's eyebrow shot up, and he turned to his partner. *You knew, didn't you?*  
Hutch gave a little shrug. *I figured it was time to put a few ghosts to rest.*  
Starsky laughed out loud and jumped in the front seat. "Let's get this show on the road! Thanks, Merle, for everything."  
"Take it easy, Starsky. Be safe."   
Starsky waved as he backed the car out of the garage and headed for the street.  
Merles watched them go then shouted, "And watch out for those potholes! Her suspension stinks!"  
Starsky's hand came out of the window and waved as the Torino roared away. Merle watched them disappear as an image flashed through his mind, an image of the bullet-ridden Torino being pulled in right after the shooting. He crossed himself over his greasy coveralls and said a small prayer.  
"Stay safe, both of you."

They drove back to Hutch's apartment and put his suitcases in the trunk, then went back to Starsky's. Before long, the Torino was loaded and ready to go. Starsky gave the map to Hutch, then sat back in the driver's seat. As they pulled away from the curb, Starsky looked over at his friend.  
"Thanks, buddy."  
"This is about a new beginning, right? I figured this striped tomato could use some time away, too." Hutch grinned at his friend. "Besides, if we get lost, they should be able to find us easily. This thing still sticks out like a sore thumb."  
Starsky laughed and held up a bottle of cold water. "To new beginnings."  
Hutch held up his own bottle. "Salut."  
Thirty minutes later, they were on I-5 North and headed for Lamont. Once they were on the highway, Starsky settled the Torino into a comfortable speed. The scenery flashed by, as they got farther away from the city. Starsky glanced over at Hutch. The blond was looking out the window, lost in his thoughts.  
*What are you thinking about, Hutch? Have you already made up your mind to resign? Am I just fooling myself? What if I am just postponing the inevitable? Dear God, what do I do if you quit? I don't want to go on without you, but I don't know what else I want to do. I never thought it would come to this. Being a cop is who I am. But I don't think I could do it without you.*  
Hutch's voice broke into his thoughts. "Starsky, are you listening to me?"  
He shook himself slightly. "Sorry, buddy. I guess I was a million miles away. What did you say?"  
"I said we're making pretty good time. We should be there before the real estate office closes. Didn't your aunt say that it closed at 6?"  
Starsky nodded. "Damn, I didn't think about that. Yeah, we should be there in another hour or so. We'll have plenty of time to get the keys and find the house before it gets dark."  
Hutch looked over at him. "What were you thinking about just now?"  
Starsky took one hand off the steering wheel and squeezed his friend's shoulder. "I was thinking about life. It seems like every time you think things are going your way, life throws you a curve. I've been so caught up in myself that I didn't see how much you were hurting. I'm sorry, Blintz. I feel like I've let you down."  
Hutch sighed and turned in the seat to face his friend. "You didn't let me down, Starsk. I let you down. I know how important being a cop is to you. I wish I felt the same way. I used to. I need this time to think, Starsk. I have to know why I feel the way I do. I can't explain how I feel to you if I don't understand it myself. Right now, there is only one thing in my life that's worth fighting for, and that's you. Whatever happens, I don't want to lose you, or our friendship."  
"You won't, Hutch. But, don't shut me out, OK? We're not going to get anywhere if we can't talk about this. So, no secrets. We're in this together. Agreed?"  
Hutch laid his hand on Starsky's shoulder. "Agreed."

It was shortly after 5 pm when Starsky pulled up in front of the Realtor's office. Hutch stayed in the car while Starsky went inside to get the keys. He came out a few minutes later with the keys to the house and a map. He put the keys in his pocket and handed Hutch the map.  
"He marked the route on the map for us. He said the house is easy to find, and is only a few miles from here. I was glad to hear him say that. I think I've had enough riding for one day."  
"Me too, partner. And we'll have plenty of time to get settled in before dark. I'm sure glad the electricity is already on. I'm hungry, and I don't want to walk into a restaurant before I've had a shower."  
Starsky grinned. "Knowing my aunt, she probably left orders for someone to stock the refrigerator, and make sure the cupboards are full. She never did like to eat out much."  
"Now she sounds like someone I'd like to meet. How'd she end up with a nephew that's a fast food junkie?"  
"Ha-ha. I've never seen you turn down a pizza, buddy. Besides, Aunt Gertie and Uncle Archie always grew their own food. She's a fantastic cook, and it's easier when you have all day to mess around in the kitchen. That's a whole lot different than our schedules."  
"In that case, let's hope they have a freezer and it's full of Gertie's home cooking."  
Starsky nodded as he pulled onto the highway. "I hear ya, Blintz."  
The directions marked on the map were easy to follow. They turned onto a small dirt road five miles from Lamont, and drove another mile to the house. The two men traded looks as the road narrowed considerably. The brush on either side of the road was as tall as the Torino, and the road was filled with potholes. A few minutes later, they saw what remained of a wooden fence on one side. They pulled into a gravel driveway and drove slowly toward the end. Starsky stopped the Torino, and looked out the front windshield. Neither man said anything as they exited the car.  
The house stood at the end of the driveway. Starsky and Hutch looked at the yard filled with weeds, and the front of the house. It had been painted white at one time, but now was a dingy grey. One of the shutters was hanging on one side, and when the wind increased, it banged against the window.   
Starsky cleared his throat. "Well, the house isn't too bad. At least there aren't any holes in the roof. I hope."  
Hutch was looking around as if he'd suddenly awakened from a bad dream. "Uh huh."  
"Steps look pretty solid. So they should hold up. Lawn needs mowing, though."  
"Uh huh."  
Starsky looked at his friend. "Well, we don't have to rebuild the whole house. We'll just do the best we can."  
Hutch nodded. "You said she wanted to sell this.....place?"  
"Yeah, eventually."  
"Well, I'd give ya a ten-spot, if you could make change. Lots of change."  
Starsky looked around, again. "Uh huh."  
Hutch shook himself and shrugged. "Well, let's get this stuff in the house. I wouldn't want to be wandering out here in the dark."  
"Aww, come on, Hutch. This isn't the big city. Nobody's gonna jump out at ya."  
Hutch's look was withering. "I wasn't worried about that, Starsky. I was worried about falling over something and breaking my neck."  
Starsky grinned sheepishly. "Oh. Good point."  
They unloaded the back seat, and got the suitcases out of the trunk and headed for the front door. Starsky sat his luggage down as he pulled out the keys. When he put the key in the lock and turned it, nothing happened.   
Hutch frowned. "What's wrong?"  
Starsky grunted. "I don't know. It won't open. It's stuck."  
Hutch grumbled something unintelligible. "Let me try."  
Starsky stood back and Hutch bent down to get a good look at the lock. He turned back to his partner, and scowled.  
"It's rusted!"  
"Hey, she hasn't been gone that long! Besides, there's an awning over the.....door." Starsky ducked his head.   
Hutch looked up and exploded. "Yeah, there's an awning over the door. But there's a great big hole in it, too! I don't think that's real good for keeping out the rain, do you?"  
Starsky spoke quietly, and calmly. "Can we just go inside, please?"  
Hutch grumbled a little louder and tried to unlock the door again. As he turned the key, he bumped against the door with his shoulder, hard. The door swung open and Hutch half fell inside. He straightened himself up and smoothed his shirt. Slowly, he turned back to Starsky.   
"There. We're inside. Happy now?"  
Starsky's smile didn't quite reach his eyes. "Very."  
They carried the luggage inside and put it down in the living room. Both men breathed a sigh of relief when they looked around. In contrast to the outside of the house, the inside was neat and tidy. The furniture was comfortably used, and clean.   
Starsky smiled. "Not bad. Not bad at all." Under his breath, he whispered, "Thank God."  
He slapped Hutch on the back. "Well, come on, partner. Let's get washed up and find something to eat."  
"Now, that's the best idea you've had all day. Which way to the bedrooms?"  
Starsky rubbed his chin. "I haven't been here in a long time, but I think they're this way."  
He led Hutch through the living room and turned down a small hallway. The bedrooms were on opposite sides of the hall, with the bathroom next to the smaller one. Hutch looked through the first door. He walked slowly into the room, and nodded in satisfaction. The bed stood against one wall, and there was a small dresser and nightstand on each side. His eyes lit up as he saw the large bay window that overlooked the back yard. The cushion that lay on the windowsill was worn, but looked comfortable. He turned back to Starsky.  
"Well, she's your aunt. You get first dibs."  
Starsky smiled. He'd seen Hutch's expression when he saw the window. "You can have this one. I always stayed in the other one, anyway. It's got a connecting door to the bathroom, and this one doesn't."  
"You talked me into it. And to show what a nice guy I am, I'll even let you have the shower first."  
While Starsky was in the shower, Hutch went back to the kitchen and rummaged through the cupboards. He found a plentiful supply of dishes, and cooking utensils, so he looked in the refrigerator and freezer for something to cook. He smiled gratefully when he saw the six-pack of beer on the second shelf of the fridge. It was obvious that someone had stocked the pantry recently, and their benefactor had been generous.   
Hutch glanced up at the clock. It was getting late, so he took a package of roast beef, a loaf of homemade bread, and quickly made sandwiches. He put a jar of pickles, a wedge of cheese, and lettuce on the small dining room table, and got out two plates, and silverware. By the time Starsky was finished with his shower, dinner was ready.  
"Hey, this looks great! It's a whole lot better than pizza, I gotta admit. I'm starved."  
Hutch grinned and sat down. "Then, eat already. I didn't feel like making a trip back to town, anyway. It looks like your Aunt has everything pretty well stocked, as far as provisions go. In the morning, we can take a look around and get an idea of what we'll need to get this place back to normal."  
"Sounds good to me. I don't want to go traipsing around in the dark, either. There isn't any street lights out here."  
The two men enjoyed the simple meal and the solitude. It wasn't long before both men were yawning. Hutch took his cue, and got up.   
"Well, I don't know about you, partner, but I'm beat. I think I'll turn in. I'll see you in the morning, OK?"  
"Sure, buddy. I'm about ready to hit the sack, myself." Starsky walked to the doorway to his bedroom, and then stopped. He looked back at Hutch. "Hey, partner."  
Hutch looked over his shoulder. "What?"  
"Thanks."  
"For what?"  
Starsky motioned around the room. "For this. For letting me help my Aunt. For giving us another chance. You didn't have to come along, but you did."  
Hutch gave his partner a wistful smile. "I think we're worth fighting for, don't you? We'll work it out, Starsk, somehow."  
"Yeah, we are. Goodnight, Hutch."  
The blond winked at his friend. "Good night, buddy. And, you're welcome."

Starsky rolled over in the small bed, wondering why he was suddenly awake. The silence in the room was strange to him. He was used to the noises of a big city, not this quiet night filled with only the chirping of a few insects. He slipped out of bed, wearing only a pair of briefs, and padded into the hallway. After his eyes adjusted to the moonlight, he peeked into the other bedroom. Hutch's blond hair shined dimly beside the window. Starsky coughed discreetly, taking care not to startle his friend. He saw Hutch's head move.  
"What's wrong, Starsk? Couldn't you sleep?"  
"Nothing's wrong, Blintz. It's just kind of quiet. It's hard to get used to, you know? So, what's your excuse?"  
"The same as yours, I guess. I'm so used to seeing lights from my bedroom, and hearing cars and sirens all night long. All you can hear now is birds singing and a few crickets. It's quite a change."  
Starsky sat beside his friend. "Yeah, it is. We've been city boys too long. We're not used to the country life."  
Hutch looked out the window and spoke softly. "All you can see is space. The stars are so bright tonight. I hardly even notice them in the city, any more. Not too far from here, the people in town are asleep, safe and secure in their own beds. I wonder if they notice the stars."  
"I don't know. Maybe they've gotten used to them, the way we've gotten used to the noise. They'd probably feel as out of place in Bay City as we do here."  
"Yeah, and so would the criminals. I don't think Lamont is a high crime area."  
Starsky smiled. "It doesn't look like it. Everybody probably knows everybody. A stranger would stick out like a sore thumb around here."  
Hutch grinned. "Like us, you mean? It's a good thing your aunt phoned the real estate company and told them we were coming. At least they know we aren't trespassing, or the local law would have paid us a visit before now."  
"I don't doubt that at all."  
The two men were quiet for a time, then Hutch said quietly, "I wonder what it is like."  
"What?"  
"Being a cop in a small town like this."  
"Oh, I don't know. I guess it would be pretty easy. You'd have fights to break up on the weekends, poachers once in a while, kids necking on small country roads, things like that. I don't imagine the homicide rate is very high."  
"No. It must be nice. I don't know if I could do it, though. We've spent too many years in the gutters. I don't think I could adjust."  
"You thinking about making a change, partner?"  
Hutch shook his head. "I don't know. I feel like I'm lost, like I'm searching for something. I look back at the last ten years and ask myself, why? What good have I done?"  
Starsky shrugged, and sighed. "Maybe this is why. Maybe we did what we did back there so the people here could have this kind of life. We stopped the creeping crud from taking little towns like this over. These people have never heard of Gunther, or Marcus. They lock their doors at night to keep the kids in, not the crooks out. They're born in peace, they live and they die. We keep the cancer from spreading and eating up their way of life."  
"And they never know how close it comes."  
Starsky squeezed his friend's shoulder. "Not if we do it right."  
Hutch smiled wanly. "I wish I had as much confidence in our job as you do, Starsk. I don't know how much longer we can keep the wolves at bay. How do we know they aren't here already?"  
"We wouldn't be sitting here, having this conversation, if they were."  
Starsky stood up and stretched. "Well, it's getting late, and we have a different kind of creeping crud to worry about. We need to get some sleep if we're going to tackle that yard in the morning."   
He walked to the door and looked back. Hutch was still sitting there, looking out the window.   
"The only wolves out there are the four-legged kind, Hutch. We won't let the two-legged ones in."  
Hutch looked out at the stars. "I hope you're right, Starsky. God, I hope you're right."

Hutch crawled back into bed and turned on his side. He closed his eyes, keeping an image of the stars in his mind. The crickets outside his window sang a lonely song as he dozed off. The sounds faded as his heart beat slowed, and his breathing deepened. Bits of dreams flashed behind his eyes; dreams of his childhood, dreams of happier days with Vanessa, dreams of the good times spent with Starsky. He could see Starsky, Huggy, and himself at the Pits. They played pool, and were laughing and drinking beer. As he slipped deeper into sleep, the dreams turned more sinister. Hutch tossed and turned as disturbing images rose from his subconscious. He saw Lionel falling through the window, and the disgust and sadness on Huggy's face. He saw Allison and Starsky, walking slowly down the deserted street toward one another. He saw Deputy DA Claiborne lying on the floor of the airport. He moaned softly as he watched himself and Starsky, walking to the Torino. Hutch had only been asleep an hour and a half when his worst nightmare came crashing back.

*He was standing in front of the window in ICU again. He could hear the sound of the monitor flat-lining, like the whine of a thousand angry hornets swarming around his head. He watched as the doctor and the nurses tried frantically to start Starsky's heart beating again. The sound the respirator made as the nurse bagged him reminded him of an old fire place bellows, forcing air into the injured man's lungs. He held his own breath, praying silently for his friend to come back. He heard the doctor's soft voice issuing orders as he shocked Starsky's heart. Finally, he heard the words he didn't want to hear.

"That's it, we've lost him." The doctor looked up at the clock. "Time of death, 1:15 am."  
Horrified, Hutch watched as they pulled the sheet over his partner's face. "NOOOOO!!!!!" He felt a strong hand on his shoulder and opened his eyes. Dobey was standing beside his bed, his face betraying the sadness he felt.  
"It's OK, Hutch. You were dreaming."  
Hutch sat up and looked around, confused. "Captain? What are you doing here? Where am I?"  
"You're in our house, in the den. It's OK, son, you're not alone."  
"But, I'm not supposed to be here. This isn't Aunt Gertie's house. Where's Starsky?"  
Dobey sat beside him on the bed. "Starsky's gone, Hutch. We buried him this afternoon. Don't you remember?"  
Hutch shook his head vehemently. "No! He's not dead. We went to his aunt's house. We're on vacation. He can't be dead!"  
Dobey gazed at him, his eyes full of pity. "Hutch, you have to quit doing this to yourself. Starsky's dead. He's gone and he's never coming back."  
Hutch glared at the black man. "NO! He's not dead! Starsky! Starsky!!!!!!!!!"*

The blond detective sat up, gasping for air. With a shaky finger, he turned on the small light beside the bed. He slumped back against the wall and waited for his heart to stop pounding. He was back where he belonged, in Aunt Gertie's house. Slowly, he climbed out of bed and tip-toed across the hall. The moonlight streaming in the small window illuminated the dark curls on the pillow. He leaned against the door frame, weak with relief. As he watched Starsky sleeping peacefully, Hutch made a silent vow.  
"Never again, Starsky. Whatever it takes, I'll never watch you die again."  
Exhausted, Hutch went back to his own bed and crawled back under the covers. The nightmares he had suffered through strengthened his resolve.   
"We'll find a way to work this out, Starsky. I didn't go through Hell to see you put yourself on the line again. I won't lose you again, police work be damned."  
He fell into a dreamless sleep, and was awakened a few hours later by the smell of bacon cooking. He slipped on a pair of pants and followed his nose. Starsky was standing at the stove, turning the bacon over and scrambling eggs. The ever present jeans were covered by a white chef's apron, and a chef's hat perched on top of the dark curls. Starsky grinned and waved him to a chair.  
"Morning, Blintz. Breakfast is almost ready. Have a seat."  
In spite of himself, the blond laughed out loud. "Starsky, where in the world did you find that getup?"  
"Hey, I'll have you know that my Uncle Archie wore this every time he cooked. Aunt Gertie did most of the cooking, but on Saturday mornings, Uncle Archie would fix a big breakfast, then we'd all go to the park and hang out. Even when I was young, and Ma and Nicky came out with me, this was my favorite place to go."  
Hutch looked around the cozy kitchen and smiled. "I can see why. It's so peaceful here. But, I bet it wasn't that peaceful with a houseful of Starsky's running around."  
"You got that right. But Aunt Gertie never seemed to mind. She said she always wanted a large family, but after my cousin, Sandy was born, she couldn't have any more kids. I guess having me and Nicky here made it seem like a large family to her."  
Hutch smiled wistfully. "I guess it did." He dropped his head as a feeling of sadness washed over him. Not wanting to spoil the mood, he kept his head down as he ate his breakfast. It didn't work, though. He could feel Starsky's eyes on him.  
"What's the matter, buddy?"  
Hutch shook his head as he wiped his mustache with a napkin. "Nothing. Hey, this is pretty good. Either your cooking is improving or it's the atmosphere. I didn't know scrambled eggs could taste like this."  
Starsky sat down across from his friend and gazed steadily at him. "Talk to me, Hutch. What's wrong? You look like you just lost your best friend."  
The blond flinched involuntarily. The nightmares he'd had last night came rushing back to him. Starsky didn't realize how appropriate his words were. He struggled to keep his voice casual.  
"It's nothing, Starsk, really. I guess all of this reminiscing made me a little sad. Your Uncle Archie is gone, and now your Aunt Gertie is going to sell her home. With all of the good memories she has of this house that must really be hard for her."  
Starsky nodded. "It is hard, but you have to take the bad with the good. She's smart enough to know that she can't take care of this place all by herself. Selling it won't make the memories disappear. She'll always have those."  
Hutch smiled at his friend. "You're right, it won't. When we don't have anything else, we still have our memories."  
"That's right, buddy. And don't ever forget it. Are you sure there's nothing else on your mind?"  
"I'm sure, Starsk. Come on, let's get these dishes done and get to work. We've got a lot to do."  
As he helped Starsky clean up the small kitchen, Hutch wondered if the memories he had of that fateful day would ever go away. *Sometimes memories aren't a good thing, Starsk.*

Hutch dressed quickly in old jeans and a flannel work shirt then both men went out to tackle the front yard. Hutch surveyed the area, frowning.  
"You know, I thought it might look better after we got a good night's sleep, but it actually looks worse."  
Starsky nodded as he took in the trash and tree limbs that covered the weeds. Then he sighed.  
"Well, this ain't getting it done. Let's check out those outbuildings and see if we can find some rakes and stuff. We can't mow until we get this junk cleaned up."  
They walked over to the smallest and best kept building and opened the door. Thankfully, the lawn implements had been out of the weather, so they were still in good shape. They gathered up rakes, and found a small trailer that would hold the limbs and the trash.   
Hutch frowned as he thought of something. "Where do we take all this trash? It's a safe bet they don't have pick up around here."  
"We always took the trash to a big ditch behind the barn. It's more like a ravine, and Uncle Archie just dumped the trash in and put a layer of dirt over it every once in a while. I guess we'd better see if there's any room left before we get started on the yard."  
Hutch followed his partner, muttering. "It better be as big as the Grand Canyon if it's going to hold all this junk."   
They left the rakes and trailer while they walked the short distance to the ditch. Both men were relieved to see that there was plenty of room left at the bottom. They went back to the shed and put the rakes in the trailer, and went back to the front yard. The sound of birds singing and an occasional squirrel chattering kept them company as they worked. The sun was high overhead before they dumped the last load of trash into the ditch.   
Starsky wiped his forehead with a bandanna. "Well, it's starting to look like a yard, instead of a junk yard. I don't know about you, but I could use a break before we take this load to the ditch."  
Before Hutch could answer, the sound of a car coming up the small road broke the silence. A dark blue SUV drove slowly toward them. Hutch could see the red bubbles on the roof.   
He nodded toward the vehicle. "I think we've got company."  
The two detectives waited patiently while the SUV pulled in beside the Torino, and parked. The man that got out was wearing a khaki shirt and olive green trousers. He wore a light jacket that had a Sheriff's emblem on the pocket and shoulders and carried a dark brown hat in his hand. He was slightly taller than Starsky, with broad shoulders and a trim waist. Although his hair was grey, he carried himself with the vitality of a younger man. His blue eyes were intelligent, with laugh lines crinkling in the corners.   
He walked up to the detectives and gave them a friendly smile. "Gertie said she was getting some help with this place. Which one of you is her nephew?"  
Starsky wiped his hands on his jeans. "I am. I'm David Starsky, and this is my partner, Ken Hutchinson."  
The sheriff shook hands with both men. "I'm Jed Bradley. Pleased to meet you. I saw the car go by yesterday, but I thought you might want to rest a spell before you had company. You're doing your aunt a big favor by cleaning up the place. I know she appreciates it."  
Starsky smiled. "Well, we had some time off, so we thought we'd help out a little. I'll admit we didn't know the place had gone down this much, but we'll get it fixed up for her."  
Bradley nodded. "Yeah, Archie couldn't do much after he took sick, and Gertie wasn't able, so the place went down fast. It's a good piece of property, though. She shouldn't have a problem selling it. We'll be sorry to see her go. They made a lot of good friends around here. The town will miss them."  
Starsky laid his rake on the trailer. "We were going to take a break and have something to drink. I was going to make some lemonade, if you'd care to have some, Sheriff."  
"I don't want to hold you up, but sure, a cold drink would be great."  
The three men went up to the porch, and Hutch motioned for the Sheriff to sit down while Starsky went into the house.   
Bradley watched him disappear into the kitchen, and then gazed steadily at Hutch.  
"He seems in pretty good shape for a man that almost met his maker."  
Hutch tilted his head. "How did you know?"  
"Gertie told me a little about it, but she didn't have to. Gunther's arrest was in all the papers. Lamont isn't that far from Bay City."  
"I guess not. He's doing OK. He's not a hundred percent yet, and he probably never will be, but he's coming damn close. You could say this is therapy for both of us. He needs to get his strength back, and we both need a little peace and quiet. Lamont seems like a good place to be right now. It looks like a friendly town, Sheriff. I don't mind telling you that I'm a little envious. After the Hell we've been through, Lamont seems like Heaven."  
Starsky came out, carrying three glasses. He handed Hutch and Bradley a glass and sat down beside his partner.  
"It's not as good as Gertie's, but it hits the spot. So, what brings you out this way, Sheriff? I mean, this is an awful lot of territory for one man to cover."  
"It is, but I've got a couple of deputies that help out. Mostly it's a matter of routine patrols. It's a quiet town, David. Out this way, all you have to look for is hunters that get so wrapped up in what they're doing that they cross onto someone else's land. Then you get the kids that park on the back roads and party, and get a little noisy. We have our town drunks and once in a while we have a drifter that passes through, but we haven't had a homicide in five years. It's just a sleepy little town where everybody knows everybody."  
Starsky grinned. "It was that way when I was a kid. You're doing a good job, Sheriff. Keeping the slime in the big cities from taking over here isn't easy. We've had plenty of experience with that, believe me."  
Bradley nodded as he finished his lemonade. "Well, I'd love to stay longer, but I need to finish my rounds. Somebody called in and said there was a tree lying in the road a couple of miles from here, so I'd better check it out before the highway department closes. It was nice meeting you, and I'll tell Gertie you're doing a good job. The next time you're in town, stop by and we'll have lunch, my treat."  
Hutch smiled. "Thanks, Sheriff, we'll do that."  
Bradley stood and looked out at the trees. "You know, being a Sheriff in a small town is a good life. Sometimes it's about as exciting as watching the grass grow, but there aren't many people gunning for you, either."   
Bradley nodded at the detectives, put his hat on and walked back to his car. As he drove away, he waved to them.   
Starsky finished his drink and looked at Hutch. "Well, you ready to get back to it? We still got a lot of ground to cover before we can start mowing."  
"Yep, I'm ready. Oh, by the way, where did you learn to make lemonade? It tasted pretty good."  
"Gertie showed me how. I know it sounds kinda weird, but I liked doing things like that. I wouldn't go near the kitchen back in New York, because my friends would have given me grief, but it was different out here. I could do what I wanted and nobody teased me about it."  
"I know what you mean. It reminds me of my grandfather's farm. You didn't have to be what everyone expected you to be, you could just be yourself. I always wanted to live on a farm like my granddads. It always seemed so much better than our house. I guess most kids feel that way. "  
"I guess so. I know I looked forward to coming out here. We always had lots to do and even the chores were fun." Starsky slapped his friend on the back and grinned. "Come on, partner, we've got some chores of our own to do. They might not be fun, be we've got to get them done. Time's a wasting."  
A few hours later, they dumped the last of the trash into the ditch and went back to the shed for the lawn mowers. Starsky climbed on the riding lawn mower while Hutch used the push mower to go around the trees and the fence row. By the time the yard was finished, the sun was going down. Starsky and Hutch ate a quiet dinner and fell into bed, exhausted.   
Both men slept soundly through the night, much to Hutch's relief. Tired from the physical exertion that day, he had immediately fallen into a dreamless sleep. The sun was shining when he rolled over in bed and looked at the clock. It was 7 am, and the only sound he could hear was the birds singing outside his window. He quietly crossed the hall and peeked in. Starsky was still asleep, with the covers over his head.   
Hutch took a long, hot shower and dressed in clean clothes. He started a pot of coffee and looked around the kitchen, trying to decide what to cook. He snapped his fingers as an idea occurred to him, and quickly gathered the ingredients for waffles. He knew that his friend would be roused by the aroma of breakfast cooking, and hoped the waffles would stimulate his appetite even further. As expected, he heard water running in the shower as he started frying sausages. Ten minutes later, his partner came bounding in to the room.  
"What smells so good? That sure isn't some of your health drink!"  
Hutch pointed a spatula at his friend. "Are you saying that my health drink smells bad?"  
"That depends on what you mean by bad. If you think animal organs and rotten wheat germ smells good, then it smells great. Me, I'd rather go outside and smell the compost heap."  
Hutch gave him a mock glare. "Watch it, buddy. I can always make one for you."  
"What, and set my recovery back a year? You wouldn't do that, would you?"  
"Ha ha. Sit down and eat before I take your part of these waffles and give them to the compost heap."  
"I'm sitting already. What are you waiting for? Let's eat."  
The two men ate in companionable silence. As he sipped a second cup of coffee, Starsky looked at his friend.  
"Did you sleep well, buddy?"  
Hutch grinned. "I sure did. It must be all this fresh air."  
Starsky chuckled. "Or all the work we did yesterday. So, what do you want to do today? Do you want to work in the field or start on the house?"  
Hutch shrugged. "I don't care. Which do you want to do?"  
Starsky grinned. "I think I've had enough yard work for a few days. Let's start on the house. It's not going to need much work. All we have to do is fix the shutters, the hole in the porch, and check out the roof. We can give the house a coat of fresh paint and have it looking like new in no time."  
Hutch cleared his throat. "It doesn't need much? Are you sure you don't want to add a few columns to the porch, brick the house up, and pave the driveway while we're at it?"  
Starsky frowned. "Now you're exaggerating. Look, all we have to do to the shutters is nail them back on the windows. We can take a look at the front porch, and the roof and get an idea of the supplies we need. I saw a good, sturdy step ladder in Archie's shed, and we might even find some paint if we're lucky."  
"If we're lucky." Hutch looked closer at the brunette. "Are you sure you're up to this? We've got two weeks before we go back, assuming Dobey can get you an appointment with the Review Board. We don't have to do it all in two days."  
Starsky's eyes narrowed. "What are you getting at?"  
"I'm not getting at anything. I was just asking a question. We put in a hard day yesterday. You were pretty exhausted last night. Maybe we should take it easy today."  
Starsky took a deep breath and counted to ten. "You can't keep doing this, Hutch."  
Hutch dropped his eyes. "Keep doing what?"  
Starsky clenched his jaw. "You can't keep hovering over me like I'm going to break into a million pieces. In case you've forgotten, I've been cleared for active duty. I'm not going to let you do all the work while I sit on the front porch and rock."  
"I didn't say you had to sit on the porch, Starsky. I just don't want you to overdo it."  
"I'm not going to overdo it, Hutch. I may not be as strong as you are, but I can pull my share of the load. I'm not a baby."  
"Damn it, Starsky, I didn't say you were! I'm just telling you to take it easy!"  
Two pairs of blue eyes bored into each other then looked away. Starsky sighed quietly.  
"I know my limitations, Hutch. Believe me, I know. Dr. Martel made them pretty clear while I was lying in that hospital bed. I know I won't ever be the way I was before Gunther, but I've come damn close. You have to trust me on this. I'm not going to get hurt. I know when to stop."  
Hutch looked down at his feet. "I do trust you, Starsk. Just promise me you'll take it easy, okay? If you get tired, say so. The house isn't going anywhere and neither are we."  
Starsky nodded. "OK. I promise that I'll stop if I get tired. Come on, let's get these dishes washed and get to work."  
He gathered up the dishes and started water running in the sink. He turned back to his friend and spoke softly.  
"If you don't trust me to take care of myself out here, how are you ever going to trust me to take care of you when we go back on the job?"  
Hutch winced at the hurt in Starsky's voice. "I do trust you, buddy. Did you ever stop to think that I don't trust myself to take care of you?"  
Starsky laid a hand on his friend's shoulder. "You've always taken care of me, Hutch."  
Hutch looked into his partner's eyes. "Not always, Starsk. Not always."  
Starsky shook his head. "You didn't put the gun in those creeps' hands, Hutch. Just like you didn't put the hypo in Bellamy's hand, or the knife in Gail's hand. You've always watched my back and you did the best you could. You were never responsible for me getting hurt. It comes with the job and we both knew that going in."   
Hutch smiled slightly. "OK, you win. I'll try to stop feeling guilty."  
Starsky grinned at his friend. "You stop feeling guilty? That would be like the Pope forgetting to pray."  
Hutch threw a mock punch at Starsky. "Smart ass." Then, he grinned.   
Crisis over, the two men trekked out to the shed and wrestled the large step ladder to the front of the house. Hutch bit his lip as Starsky climbed the rungs, determined not to mother hen the other man. Starsky looked at the hole in the porch, and at the roof. He climbed back down the ladder.  
"Well, the roof looks pretty good. The shingles seem new, and there aren't any places that are sagging. I think if we can find a good piece of plywood, we can cover the hole over the porch, and then put some shingles over that. It may not be a professional job, but it will stop the porch from getting wet."  
"OK. Did you see any plywood, or shingles in the shed?"  
"No, but we really haven't looked in the barn. All we've done is glance around it. Let's go see what we can find."  
The walked out to the old barn behind the shed. The wood was old and the paint was starting to peel, but otherwise the building seemed sound. Hutch nodded his head in approval.  
"Hey, this isn't bad! I thought it would be in worse shape than this."  
Starsky nodded. "When my Uncle Archie was younger, he kept cows in the pasture, and even a couple of horses. Nicky and I used to ride them when we came out to visit. They were just a couple of work horses, but to us, they were better than the fastest race horses at the track. As he got older and his health went down, he sold off the livestock. He couldn't afford to feed them, and he couldn't take care of them by himself. Man, I really missed those horses. Nicky and I both cried for a week after he sold them. I haven't been on a horse in years."  
Hutch gave his friend a surprised look. "Why, Starsky! All this time I thought you were a city boy. I never knew you could ride a horse."  
Starsky snorted. "Don't go getting any ideas, buddy. I am a city boy. We rode a few times on a sway-back horse. That hardly makes me an expert on horseback riding."  
"That's too bad. I thought I knew what to give you for your birthday this year. "  
Starsky laughed. "My landlord would have a fit if I tried to keep a horse in the back yard. Sorry, Blintz. You'll have to think of something else."  
Hutch grinned fondly at him then looked around the barn. "So, what did he keep in here after he sold the livestock?"  
The brunette shrugged. "Farm equipment, like tractors and plows, and stuff for the house, I guess."  
Hutch walked farther into the building, and looked into a stall. His eyes brightened.  
"Hey, look what I found!"  
Starsky peeked over his shoulder. Several small pieces of plywood were stacked against the wall, and an opened square of shingles lay on the ground. He spread his hands out in front of him and grinned.   
"Uncle Archie always was a pack rat. He never could throw anything away. This should be enough to fix the roof over the porch. I know I saw a hammer and nails in the shed. Here, you grab the shingles and I'll grab the plywood. We'll have the roof fixed in no time."   
The two men gathered up the supplies and went back to the house. Starsky handed the hammer and nails to Hutch.  
"Here, hold these. When I get to the top, hand the plywood to me and then the hammer and nails. As soon as I get the plywood in place, you can hand me the shingles. That way, neither of us has to keep climbing up and down the ladder."  
Hutch looked pensive. "Umm, I'm almost afraid to ask, but why are you the one climbing the ladder? I do know how to hammer a nail." Before Starsky could answer, he raised his hands in surrender. "Now, don't get pissed. It was just a question. I'm not telling you that you can't, I'm just asking why."  
Starsky thought for a minute, and then nodded. "OK, that's a fair question. You're a little taller than I am and your reach is a little longer. So, I can stand in one spot and reach the supplies and the roof. If you get up here, you're going to have to keep climbing up and down a couple of rungs. Now, I know I said this ladder is sturdy, but why waste the energy? The faster we get this done, the sooner I can get off the ladder. Is that OK with you?"  
Hutch mulled it over, and finally nodded. "That sounds like a plan to me. Good thinking, Starsk."  
He watched the brunette climb the ladder then lifted the first small piece of plywood up to him. He held his breath while Starsky nailed the plywood in place then handed him the next piece. It seemed like hours before Starsky nailed the last board into place, but it was actually only a few minutes. He let out the breath he was holding when Starsky handed him the hammer and the small can of nails, and started back down the ladder. As the brunette stepped down, his foot slipped and he grabbed the ladder to keep from falling. Hutch's heart skipped a beat as he started for the ladder, but his friend caught himself and regained his footing.  
"Damn it, Starsky, be careful! The last thing we need is for you to break your leg! We're out in the middle of nowhere and God only knows how long it would take for an ambulance to get here!"  
Starsky clenched his jaw as he jumped to the ground. "Hutch, will you chill out? I was only a couple of feet up. Even if I fell, I wouldn't hurt myself. Will you quit tryin' to nursemaid me? You can't keep running around behind me like I'm gonna break any second. We're not gonna get a lot of work done if you keep tryin' to hold my hand. There ain't room on the ladder for both of us."  
Hutch glared back at him. "That's not funny, Starsk. I'm not nursemaiding you. I don't think I'm being unreasonable by asking you to be careful."  
"Is this the way it's going to be, buddy? Are you going to spend the rest of your life worrying about shit like this? You can't wrap me in a cocoon and lock me in my room. What the Hell are you going to do when we go back to work? I'll tell you what you're gonna do. You're going to be so caught up in protecting me that you're gonna get both of us killed. YOU GOTTA STOP THIS, HUTCH!"  
Hutch threw the hammer and nails down and walked away. For a while, neither man spoke. Then he turned around.   
"Stop what, Starsky? Stop caring about what happens to you? We've been like a couple of sitting ducks in a carnival game. Step right up, everyone and try your luck. Shoot the dumb cop three times and win a prize! And every time some scumbag gets lucky, we pop right back up. Why? So the next punk with a gun can do it again? What if I'm the one that goes down next time? What if it's both of us? What are we supposed to do, spend the rest of our lives taking turns getting hurt? WHAT THE HELL FOR?"  
He took a deep breath, willing himself to calm down. "I don't know how to make you understand. Sure, we took Gunther out. So what? We took Prudholm out, and Marcus, and Forrest. What did we get? Look who took their place: Gunther. Who's next, Starsky? Who's going to take Gunther's place?"  
"I don't know, Hutch. I see what you're saying. Each time, they get a little bigger and a little meaner. But does that mean we gotta stop trying? We can't take care of the whole world. We can only take care of our little piece of it. That's what this job is all about, cleaning the street up, one crook at a time. That's all we can do."  
"And what's the cost? I've lost everyone I care about. I've spent my life waiting for someone to come along, that I can spend my life with. Every time I do, this damned job takes it away."  
Hutch took a step closer to his friend and softened his voice. "You're the only person in my life that means anything to me. I almost lost you this time. I don't want this badge to take you, too. Don't ask me to stand by and watch you get killed again. I can't do it, Starsk."  
He looked down, his face a mask of pain. Then he looked back up. "Don't ask me to go back to where we were. I can't, I won't do it."  
Starsky stood, stunned, as the blond walked back into the house. The pain that echoed in his words hung in the air. Starsky shook his head sadly. Where did they go from here? He looked down at the hammer, and the can of nails that Hutch had dropped. One thing was certain. The small house wasn't the only thing that needed repairs. As he slowly followed Hutch back inside, the shingles lay forgotten on the ground.


	2. Chapter 2

Part 2

Starsky walked slowly back into the house, looking for Hutch. The front room and kitchen were empty, and he couldn't hear the sound of water running in the bathroom. There was only one other place Hutch could be, in his room. Starsky quietly went back to the kitchen and took two beers out of the fridge. Then he went back to Hutch. He stood in the doorway for a moment, and looked closely at his partner.  
*What do I say to you, buddy? How can I convince you that your whole life hasn't been a waste? Whatever it takes, I have to make you see that. Remember what we've said from the first? Me and thee. There can't be a"me" without thee.*  
Starsky walked over to the window seat and silently offered one of the beers to his friend. Hutch accepted it without speaking and took a long drink. He leaned against the window and looked out. Starsky sat down beside him, and laid a gentle hand on the blond's knee. "This isn't just about Gunther, is it? You want to tell me when it started?"  
Hutch shrugged. "I don't know, to tell you the truth. I think it started slowly. You know, with just the little things. Finding out about John Blaine was a real shock. I mean, you thought you knew him, Starsky. He was the reason you joined the force to begin with, or one of them. But, he had this whole other life that you didn't know about, and neither did Maggie. And look at Iron Mike. Half the department thought the sun rose in his eyes, and all the time, he was turning his back on what Matt Coyle was doing, in return for information. These were supposed to be the good guys, Starsk. Suddenly I realized that nothing was black and white, that it never was."  
He took another drink and tried to gather his thoughts. "You know, when we found out that Burke and Corman were bad, I just chalked that up to experience. For every bad cop on the force, there are a thousand good cops. I thought they were just a couple of greedy, slimy creeps that happened to wear a badge. But what about John, and what about Iron Mike? They were good cops, Starsky. I never doubted that about them. But John was so afraid of losing his job that he lived a lie all of his adult life. And Iron Mike was so caught up in having a perfect arrest record that he was willing to sleep with a creep like Coyle. Is this badge worth everything they did, and every one they hurt?"  
"I can't answer that, Hutch. I don't have to remind you how much John's death shook me up, or the things I found out about him after he died. It took me a long time to come to terms with the fact that he was gay, and I never knew it. I mean, how could I be so close to him and not guess that?"   
Starsky took a drink of his beer and settle back against the window. "As for Iron Mike, I think I can explain that one better. He decided leaving Matt Coyle on the street was a lot better than leaving some of the other creeps that he put behind bars. Coyle had his own twisted sense of honor. I'm not saying Ferguson was right, I'm just saying I can understand his motives."  
Hutch sighed. "Yeah, I can understand that too, in a way. After we busted Coyle, I started wondering about this job. We promised ourselves that we wouldn't let this job corrupt us, and we didn't. But, I started wondering if we were the only two cops that didn't. Over the years, it started getting harder to tell the good guys from the bad. The good guys weren't completely good, and the bad guys weren't all bad."  
Starsky shook his head. "The world isn't in black and white, Hutch. There are shades of grey all over, not just on the police force."  
"I know that, Starsk. And I'm not saying that everything we did was wrong. We put some evil people away. The world is a lot better off without the likes of Marcus and Prudholm and Forrest. But there were others that weren't so easy to write off, like Hector Salidas. This guy spent most of his life on the water. He worked some really hard jobs, and got nothing to show for it. The only claim to fame he had was being a serial killer. What made him start killing those women? When did he stop looking for love and start wanting blood? What turned him into a killing machine?"  
"I don't know. Hector was sick, Hutch. I think part of him got tired of the killing eventually. I think he knew that the only way he would stop is if we stopped him. He knew that if we took him alive, he would spend the rest of his life in prison, and he couldn't handle that. We didn't make him that way, buddy."  
"Yeah, I know. Still, he wasn't all bad, Starsky. He could have killed Hannah and Laura any time he wanted, but he didn't. He could have killed me, and used the women to get himself out of town, but he didn't. There had to be some shred of decency left in the man, some where. Hannah saw it. She was never afraid of him. She was afraid of the knife, sure, but she treated Hector like he was a human being, not like some rabid animal. In spite of everything, she saw the good in him."  
Starsky smiled slightly. "Hannah sees the good in everybody."  
Hutch smiled back. "Yeah, she does." He closed his eyes and leaned his head against the cool glass. Then he whispered softly. "I used to. I don't know when I stopped, but I used to."  
"I think you're being too hard on yourself, buddy. You went into that house, unarmed. You tried to save Hector as well as two innocent women, but he wouldn't let you. He used you, and Hannah, and Laura to get himself out of trouble. He had his own motives and he didn't care who got hurt along the way."  
Agitated, Hutch stood up and paced around the room. He gestured with the beer.   
"That's exactly my point, Starsky. Hector wanted out of that house, and he wanted to live. He was willing to do anything to get what he wanted, no matter what the cost. Haven't we done the same thing over the years? We set our sights on whatever scumbag we want and go after him. If we need to use someone to get what we want, we use them. If they get hurt in the process, oh well. It's all for the job, right?"  
Starsky gazed steadily at his friend. "Who are you thinking of, Hutch?"  
The blond slumped back onto the window seat as the anger left him.   
"Marianne Owens. Poor misguided Marianne. Her life was even more screwed up than mine. She took that fall for her brother and spent four years in the joint, while he played Joe Fitch's court jester. All she wanted was to keep her brother safe and alive, and all I wanted was Fitch. So I seduced her and tried to get to Fitch through her. When she found out I was a cop, she told me to get lost, but did I? No, I kept on pushing and using her until I got her brother killed. After she left, I took a long, hard look at myself, and I didn't like what I saw. Suddenly, I was no better than Iron Mike Ferguson. In fact, I was worse. Matt Coyle knew exactly what he was doing, and he profited from the arrangement with Mike. I snuck up on Marianne's blind side and ambushed her. All she got for her trouble was more pain. Where's the justice in that, Starsky?"   
Starsky laid a hand on the blond's shoulder and squeezed gently. "I wish I could tell you what you need to hear, Hutch. I don't have all the answers. I don't think anyone does. I'm not proud of some of the things we've done. We crossed the line more than once, and people got hurt because of it. God knows, we never meant for them to. If I could take it all back and make everything turn out right, I would. But that's not the way it works. All we can do is the best we can, and it's up to each of us to decide if it's worth it or not."  
"That's just it, Starsk. I don't know if it's worth it or not any more. When I think of going back, it scares me. Who's going to pay the price next time? And when it's all said and done, who's going to care?"  
Starsky motioned outside the window. "They care, Hutch. They may not show it, but they care. They get up in the mornings and go to work, and then they come home to their families. They get to do that because of what we do. I'll agree with you; this old world is getting in pretty bad shape. But, it would be worse if there weren't cops like us to keep the slime down."  
He turned so he could look the blond in the eyes. "You haven't wasted your life, buddy. No matter what else you think, never think that."  
The blue eyes that looked back at him were full of pain. "Then why do I feel like I have? Why do I get the feeling that the man upstairs is looking down at me, laughing his ass off?"  
Starsky leaned back against the window again and counted on his fingers. "Let's see. You lost Gillian, Jeannie, Abby, Marianne, Anna, Vanessa, and a few assorted stewardesses and other bits of fluff. Over the years, the two of us have been poisoned, shot, infected with the plague, and addicted to heroin. We've been kidnapped, framed, and got too close to a couple of bombs. We're burned out, depressed, and we've started to think we're jinxed. I can't imagine why you're feeling a little down, Blintz."  
Hutch laughed. "God, Starsky, you make it sound like a pulp fiction novel! It's a wonder we both survived."  
Starsky grinned back at his friend then was serious. "It is a wonder, Hutch. We've been through a lot in our partnership. Believe me, I know how you feel. I've got my own list of lost loves. I think about them all the time. It's enough to make you throw your badge away. But, we did that once, remember? We tried to leave it all behind, but we couldn't. It's in our blood, Hutch. You can run away from it all you want, but it won't let you go."  
"And if we hadn't gone back, Gunther wouldn't have tried to kill you."  
Starsky shook his head. "You don't know that, Hutch. We'd already stepped on his toes. And even if you're right, there are a lot of other whippos out there that would love a shot at us. And every one of those assholes would be still on the street if we hadn't put them away."  
Hutch looked at his friend. "You seem to have it all figured out, buddy. I wish I had your convictions. Don't you ever wonder if it's worth all the pain? Aren't you ever afraid?"  
The brunette was silent for a few moments. When he spoke again, his voice was almost too soft to hear.  
"I've been afraid, sure. I was afraid when Bellamy gave me that shot. I was scared out of my gourd when Marcus had me in that zoo. But I could handle all of that, because I was still on my feet. After Gunther, I was terrified. I don't think I've ever been more afraid."  
"Why was that, Starsk?"  
"When I was shot, and lying in that hospital bed, I was afraid that I wouldn't make it back all the way. You know, that I would be paralyzed, or wouldn't be able to breathe on my own. I don't know if I could have lived that way, Hutch."  
"Starsky, as long as you were alive, we would have made it. I would have helped you, you know that."  
"Yeah, I know. I'm not too sure that I would have wanted to, though. I didn't want to be a burden to you, or to anybody. What would I have done? Gunther took enough away from me. Thank God he didn't take that away, too."  
Hutch thought about that for a moment, then started pacing again. He looked back at Starsky, and motioned with his hands, as if pleading for understanding.  
"You said he took enough away. Didn't they all take enough away, Starsky? Bit by bit, they've chipped away at us over the years. We've lost so much of ourselves. I don't just mean the physical scars. They're taking away our chance to get married, to have a family. They've taken our hopes and our dreams away. They've taken our sunlight away and left us in the sewers with the rats. How much more are we going to let them have before we say enough?"  
The blond ran his hands through his hair. "I'm tired, Starsk. I'm tired of fighting and I don't even remember what I'm fighting for. I know how much you want to go back on the streets, and I love you for that. But, before I can go back out there, I need to have a reason. We've fought those windmills for ten years now, but they're getting bigger and they're starting to fight back."  
"Isn't the fight enough reason, Hutch? As long as we're fighting, some one else is getting away. We have the scars, but the people we protect are safe. They won't have to swim in the sewers as long as we do it for them. And the rats won't eat through their doors if we kill them first. We can't beat every windmill, but does that mean we shouldn't keep fighting?"  
Hutch gave his friend a small, sad smile. "I don't know, buddy. I wish I had your faith, but I'm afraid I've lost mine."  
Starsky got up and stood close to the blond. "That's OK, partner. I've got enough for both of us."  
Hutch looked fondly at his friend. "I know, Starsk. You've always had faith enough for both of us. I'll promise you this much: I won't walk out on you. Whatever happens, we'll make the decision together. I may doubt this job, and myself, but I'll never doubt our friendship."  
Starsky squeezed his friend's shoulder. "That's all I ask, buddy. And, don't shut me out. As long as we can talk about this, we'll get through it somehow. We'll take as much time as we need."  
A rumble of thunder rattled the windows slightly. Starsky looked outside with a frown.  
"It looks like we're running out of time as far as those shingles are concerned, though. Come on; let's get the roof finished before the storm hits."  
Hutch nodded. "Yeah, it looks like it's headed right for us. Hey, I think I saw another ladder in the barn. Let's grab it so we can both get up there and get the shingles on. It will only take a few minutes if you're on one side and I'm on the other."  
"You got it, buddy. Let's get going. I don't want either one of us on the roof when that lightning gets closer."  
The two men rushed out to the barn and carried the second ladder to the front of the house. Between the two of them, they wrestled the square of shingles onto the porch. With Starsky on one end and Hutch on the other, they nailed the shingles into place. They barely had time to store the ladders back in the barn and run into the house before the storm hit.   
Starsky shut the door behind them and grinned at Hutch. "Well, I think that takes care of the outside work for a while. It looks like you're going to get your wish, Blintz. The inside of the house is fine, so we might as well relax for the night and enjoy the peace and quiet."  
"That's the best idea you've had all day, Gordo. Let's round up something to eat and take it in the living room. I brought the Monopoly game along, and the chess set, so take your pick."  
"Well, I know you'll beat me at Monopoly, so how about a game of chess to boost my morale first?"  
"That's not very funny, motor mouth. If you didn't talk so much, you wouldn't win at chess, either."  
"Ha. I could beat you with one hand tied behind my back and my mouth taped shut. You just don't want to admit it."  
Hutch snorted good-naturedly. "Yeah, well we'll see about that. First, we eat dinner, and then you'll eat your words."   
"Any time you're ready, Blondie. And since I'm about to beat your socks off, I'll let you pick the grub. A condemned man always gets a last meal of his choice."  
Both men laughed as Starsky followed Hutch into the kitchen. Hutch opened the freezer, and rummaged around in it. He pulled out a package of chicken breasts and laid it on the counter. Then he opened the refrigerator and pulled out lettuce, tomatoes, mushrooms, and a block of cheese for a salad, and fresh ears of corn. He pointed one of the ears of corn at his partner.  
"How does lemon pepper chicken, corn on the cob, and a salad sound to you? It will take a little longer to cook the chicken since it's still frozen, but we've got all night. I think I saw a loaf of homemade bread in the freezer, too. I can warm that up while the chicken is cooking."  
Starsky looked skeptically at the blond. "What kind of dressing on the salad?"  
"I saw French, Catalina, Ranch, Blue Cheese and vinaigrette. So, take your pick. I'll toss the salad and you can add your own dressing. Knowing you, you'll drown it, but it's your stomach and your arteries."  
"Now that sounds like my kind of a meal. I'll get started on the salad while you cook the chicken. But I still feel sweaty from being outside. I'm going to grab a shower while you start dinner. Then it's all yours."  
Hutch grinned evilly. "Oh, is that what I smell? I thought Gertie forgot to wash the corn."  
"Watch it, funny guy. You're talking to the future chess champ of Lamont, CA."  
"Is that champ, or chump, chump?"  
"OK, now you did it. You just wait until after dinner, boy. Starsky the chess master will show no mercy."  
"Yeah, right. Go take that shower, and maybe you'd better make it a cold one, so you can shrink that big head down to its normal size."  
Starsky grinned a thousand watt smile. "I ain't even gonna touch that one. I'll be back in a flash."  
Hutch laughed out loud then shook his head fondly at Starsky's retreating back. He washed his hands in the sink and started working on the chicken breasts. By the time Starsky was finished with his shower, the chicken was simmering gently in a skillet and Hutch was shucking the ears of corn.  
"OK, you're next. Go wash some of that soot from the roof off your Nordic hide. I know your tan ain't that good."  
Hutch took the ear of corn he was rinsing and snapped it toward Starsky, slinging water on him. Then he put it back in the bowl and ran for the bathroom with the brunette close on his heels. He just managed to slam the door before Starsky got to him.  
The two friends enjoyed a hearty meal then set up the chess set in the front room. While the storm raged outside, a friendly battle was fought on a small table. True to form, Starsky chattered away as he slowly moved toward victory. Finally, Hutch took his finger and gently pushed his King over on its side.  
Starsky rubbed his hands together and laughed. "That's it, sucker. Checkmate. The White Knight has fallen and the master of chess reigns supreme."  
"Yeah, well, that's just round one, pal. Tomorrow night, it's a Monopoly marathon. Then the master of chess will turn back into the Prince of utilities."  
"We'll see, Blondie, we'll see."  
Starsky yawned and stretched his arms out at his sides. "I don't know about you, but I'm beat. It looks like the worst of the storm is over, so I'm going to turn in. And since the yard is probably going to be one giant mud puddle tomorrow, don't wake me up early. Like you said, we don't have to do it all in one day."  
He stood up and clapped the blond on the back. "Good night, Hutch. Sweet dreams."  
Hutch smiled back. "Good night, buddy. Sleep tight."  
He watched Starsky disappear into his bedroom, then put the chess pieces back in their box. When he went into his own room, he discovered he really wasn't that sleepy, so he pulled out his guitar. As he quietly strummed a few chords, he thought about what Starsky had said.  
*"Isn't the fight enough reason, Hutch? We can't beat all the windmills, but does that mean we shouldn't keep fighting?"*  
Hutch shook his head. "I don't know if I want to keep fighting, Starsk. I'm not Don Quixote, and you certainly aren't Sancho. Besides, Sancho was Quixote's servant. You aren't my sidekick, you're my partner. Sancho might have been his right-hand man, but you're my good right arm."  
Hutch turned slightly so he could see the lightning flashing in the distance. Then, he began to sing.

For years I fought the good fight  
Believed in who I am  
I know that there is goodness in the light  
If I'm willing to make a stand

But the White Knight has fallen  
And he doesn't have the strength to go on  
He wonders when he lost his way  
And where did it all go so wrong?

His faithful steed is nothing more   
Than a broken down horse  
His shield is tarnished and his lance is too small  
His armor's too tight and clanks when he walks.

Don Quixote, my hat's off to you  
You fought all those windmills  
Your courage carried you through  
But now the bad guys are winning  
Can you tell me what to do?

The windmills have teeth and that one has a gun  
The castles are nothing more than seedy hotels in the sun  
The moat is a sewer and the dragons are rats  
And the princess is a hooker trapped by her past

I used to dream the impossible dreams  
I used to beat the unbeatable foe  
Now all I want to do is run and hide  
But there's nowhere else to go

Don Quixote, I must hand it to you  
You beat all those windmills  
And your convictions carried you through  
But now those bad guys are winning

Please

Will you tell me what to do?

He laid down the guitar and watched out the window for a while, as if waiting for an answer. Across the hall, hidden in the darkness, Starsky slowly climbed back into his bed.   
Before he closed his eyes, Starsky swore a solemn oath. "We'll find the answers, buddy. We'll get through this, I promise."

Although the storm moved quickly through the area, two inches of rain fell, turning the ground around the house into a swamp. They spent the next two days inside, lying around and relaxing. The song Hutch had sang haunted Starsky as he searched for a way to help his friend.   
He lay on his bed, thinking. *What happens when you decide your life has meant nothing? How can you get back all the years you think you've wasted? I know you haven't wasted them, Hutch, but how do I convince you of that? We can't go back until we settle this. We want two different things. I want to be a cop, and you don't. No, that's wrong. I want to go back on the street, and you don't. So, what's the answer? I wish to God I knew.*  
He sighed, rolled out of bed and went looking for his partner. Hutch was curled up on the couch, reading a book he had taken from one of the bookcases in the front room. Gertie and Archie both had loved to read, and their different tastes led to a variety of titles. Hutch looked up and smiled as Starsky came into the room.  
"Hey, Starsk, did you take a nap? It's a good day for one. I love the peace and quiet around here. It's like living on another planet."  
Starsky sat beside the blond. "I wasn't sleeping, buddy. I was just thinking. I've been doing a lot of that lately. What are you reading?"  
Hutch grinned sheepishly. "Would you believe a detective novel? I know that sounds crazy, but these guys had it made. Every case came to a successful end and you knew that if anyone got hurt, they'd be OK by the end of the story." He put down the book and gazed steadily at his friend. "So, what were you thinking about?"  
Starsky wagged his hand back and forth. "Oh, this and that."  
"Well, that was informative. Is there anything you'd like to share?"  
Starsky looked down at his hands. "I heard you singing the other night."  
Hutch fiddled with the book. "Oh. I thought you were asleep. I hope I didn't disturb you."  
"You didn't, but the song did. Did you write that?"  
"Yeah, I wrote it a couple of months ago. It kept running through my head, and wouldn't quit until I wrote it down."  
The brunette looked into his partner's eyes. "I don't know how to help you. How can I convince you that you haven't wasted your life? You're only one man, Hutch. You can't save the whole world. We're born, we grow up, and we die. All we can do in between is the best we can. We've done so much good. You're not a failure, Hutch."  
"But, I've failed so many times, Starsky! We've watched as the guilty went free and we've let the innocent pay the price. How many more are going to be hurt, all in the name of justice?"  
"I can't answer that, buddy, but there is one thing I know for sure. If we hadn't become cops, and did what we had to do, a lot more would have been hurt. Do you believe in Fate, Hutch, or Destiny?"  
Hutch shrugged. "I don't know. I hadn't really thought about it."  
"I have. I mean, think about all the things that happened to bring us together. You rebelled against your dad and everything that he stood for. You didn't let him push you into being a doctor, or anything else. You made the decision to be a cop on your own. You stuck by your guns, even at the expense of your marriage. You could have stayed in Duluth, had a couple of kids with Vanessa, and did whatever daddy wanted you to do. But, instead, you moved to California and joined the force."  
Starsky paced the room as he tried to organize his thoughts. "When my dad died, it threw me into a tailspin. I finally pulled myself out of it and straightened out my life, but I could just as easily have gone the other way. I fell into some pretty rough company when I was young. I was looking for something I felt I had lost after Pop got killed, and went looking in all the wrong places for it. Ma didn't want to send me clear across the country by myself. She thought she was doing what was best for me. When I enlisted in the Army, I was still looking for that unidentifiable something, but I still didn't find it. Then I met John Blaine and I decided I wanted to be a cop. But, you know what? I still felt that I was missing something in my life. I didn't know what I was looking for until I met you. Then I realized I was looking for a sense of family, a sense of purpose. You've been more like a brother to me than Nicky ever was, and that's partly because we shared the same vision. We wanted to make a difference, and together, we have."  
He sat down beside the blond. "I know the last couple of years have been rough, and we grew apart from each other, but life isn't always sunshine and roses. You have to take the bad with the good. We've made it back to each other and we've weathered the storms, and we're stronger for it. You're friendship is the most important thing in my life. No matter what we do, no matter where we go, as long as we stick together, we'll make it. I honestly think we were brought together for a reason. Maybe it was just so we could have company on this roller coaster called life, but maybe it's because we could only do what we've done as a team."  
"I used to feel the same way, Starsk. I still do, about a lot of things. I've never doubted our relationship, or you. It's this job that I'm not sure about anymore. And it isn't just the job. I don't know who I am any more. I feel like I've lost a part of myself to this badge, and I don't know how to get it back. Do you know what I really want to do? I want to grow old with you. I don't care if we both get married, have a couple of kids and live in the suburbs. I don't care if we move to Rio and become beach bums. Call me selfish, but I don't want to lose you. There isn't a damned thing in that cesspool out there that is worth your life. I don't want to go out in a blaze of glory. I want to sit in a rocking chair and watch the grandkids play while we talk about the good old days. But right now the good old days aren't that good."  
"I hear what you're saying, Blintz. Dying with your boots on is still dying. John Wayne made it look so romantic. But they didn't tell you that dying hurts like Hell, and there ain't no going back. I'm looking forward to my retirement and seeing what kind of watch they give me."  
Hutch grinned. "You always did have a watch fetish." Then he grew serious. "For a while there, I didn't think either one of us would make it to retirement."  
"I know. Neither did I, and I sure don't want to go up against another Gunther any time soon. But, don't you see? Gunther nearly took everything that's important away from me. Being a cop has been my whole life, and he stole that. I need to go back, Hutch. I'm not sure if I can be the cop I was before the shooting. I won't know if I can unless I try."   
Hutch sighed. "I know, Starsk. You've gone through Hell this past year. I wish I felt the same way, but going back scares the Hell out of me. Every time we talk, we get to the same place. We want different things. So, what's the answer? Where do we go from here?"  
"We keep talking, buddy. We tear this thing apart until we find the answer. We've made a good start. Do you realize we haven't talked like this in years? We've been acting like a couple of strangers on a train, headed for the same destination. Damn it, it's no wonder you've doubted yourself. If you can't turn to me, who can you turn to?"  
Hutch shook his head. "No one, Starsk. Me and thee, remember?"  
Starsky gave an exaggerated sigh of relief. "Finally, he gets it. It's about damn time."  
"Did anyone ever tell you that you're about as funny as a rubber crutch, Starsky?"  
He was favored with a wicked grin. "Yeah, but you love me anyway."  
Hutch's eyes glistened. "Yeah, I do."

The ground around Aunt Gertie's farm dried enough the next day for them to go back to work. Now that a solution of sorts had been reached, Hutch was more relaxed and even allowed Starsky to set his own schedule. They finished repairs on the house two days later and celebrated by having a barbeque outside. Whoever had stocked the freezer had provided plenty of meat for the two men. They grilled a side of pork spareribs, and chose two large baking potatoes to go with the meat. After dinner, Starsky found an ice cream maker and decided to try his hand at it. He searched through Gertie's recipes and found an easy one to follow. After gathering all the ingredients, Hutch helped by taking his turn at the crank.   
Starsky wiped his face with a napkin. "I never thought making ice cream would be so hard. I swear we've turned that crank a thousand times already."  
Hutch grinned. "Just think of it as physical therapy. You're really giving that shoulder a work out. And the reward will be homemade ice cream. That ought to satisfy your sweet tooth."  
They worked a few minutes longer then Hutch lifted the crank and checked the ice cream.   
Starsky peeked into the tub and frowned. "Why is it purple?"  
"It's not purple, Starsky. It's blue. You put fresh blue berries in it, remember?"  
"Oh yeah! So, can we eat it now?"  
Hutch offered his friend a spoonful. "Here, taste this and tell me if it's ready."  
Starsky tasted the ice cream and then licked his lips. "Man, that's good! I didn't think I could top the stuff at Dairy Queen, but this does."  
Hutch tasted a spoonful and nodded. "I don't think I want to spend every night doing this for a quart of ice cream, but it is a nice change. And it's better for you than DQ. This doesn't have any preservatives."  
"Well, don't tell me what DQ puts in theirs. I want to eat my ice cream from there in blissful ignorance when we go back."  
Hutch grinned. "OK, I promise not to tell you. So, do you think you're ready to tackle the fence tomorrow? The only way we can tell if there are any breaks are to walk it."  
Starsky's eyes widened. "The whole thing? Aunt Gertie said they own almost ten acres!"  
Hutch looked at him with amusement. "I didn't say we had to do it in one day, Starsk. We can take one section at a time, and if we find any problems, we can hook the trailer up to the tractor and pull the supplies we need to fix them. Back in Duluth, my grandfather had over forty acres. It would take weeks for him to check the fences."  
Starsky breathed a sigh of relief. "Since you put it that way, I'm ready whenever you are. But I have a better idea. Instead of walking, we can take the tractor and drive along the fence row. I don't know about you, but I really don't want to walk this place a dozen times. We can take some rags and mark the places we need to fix, and go back to them."  
"That's a good idea, Gordo. We might just make a country boy out of you yet."  
Starsky took another bite of his ice cream. "Uh, uh. You can keep the country. If I'm gonna die of a heart attack, I want to do it in bed with some lovely wench, not out in the middle of a field."  
Hutch stopped eating his ice cream long enough to give his friend a baleful glare. "Nobody likes a wise ass, Starsky."  
They started early the next morning, after a hearty breakfast. The tractor was in good condition, and started easily, despite sitting idle for several months. Hutch drove the tractor slowly along the fence row with Starsky sitting beside him on the oversized seat. Surprisingly, there were very few breaks in the fence.   
Starsky raised his voice over the roar of the tractor. "Hey, this ain't bad. I was expecting the fence to be in as bad a shape as the yard."  
Hutch shouted back. "I think we got lucky. You said your Uncle sold the livestock off when he started to get sick, so there haven't been any animals to cause damage. The breaks we've seen could have been caused by hunter's climbing over the rails, or tree branches falling during storms. This shouldn't take long to fix at all."  
"I don't remember seeing any wood that we can use, do you?"  
"No, but we weren't looking for any. We can check the barn, then go into town and buy some if we need to. "  
"Sounds good to me. And while we're at it, we can check if there's any paint in the barn, too. I'd still like to give the house a fresh coat before we leave."  
Hutch took his hand off the wheel long enough to point a finger at the dark haired man. "I'll go along with that as long as we don't try to paint the whole house in one day."  
Starsky raised his hands in surrender. "Hey, like you said, we've got plenty of time. Why rush? We can alternate between the fence and the painting, and take a break whenever we feel like it."  
"Now you're talking! And hold onto something for Christ's sake! This ground isn't level and I don't want you falling off!"  
Starsky grabbed the seat and hid his smile. He spoke to himself under the roar of the engine. "Now that sounds more like the mother hen I know."  
They were about halfway through the back part of the fence when they saw a strange man walking through the fields beyond the fence. The two men exchanged looks then Starsky shrugged.  
"Maybe it's a hunter. Sheriff Bradley said there are a lot of them this time of year. I wonder what's in season."  
Hutch took one hand off the steering wheel and raised it. "I don't know, but he had a backpack and was carrying something in his hand. We'll have to be careful. Bradley said some of these guys get so excited that they shoot without checking to see what's on the other end of the sight."  
Starsky nodded. "If he comes too close, we'll tell Bradley about it. That's not Aunt Gertie's land, so I guess hunting on it is legal."  
As they drove the tractor along the fence, they watched the stranger disappear into the woods. Hutch made a mental note of the area, determined to prevent a tragic accident. He would definitely keep his eyes open for any sign of activity while they were repairing the fence.  
They finished marking the rest of the breaks and went back to the barn. A thorough inspection uncovered a good supply of fence rails and other supplies that they would need, but the only paint they found was buried in one of the old stalls. Hutch pried the lid off of one can and peered inside. He picked up a small stick and stirred the paint.  
"I'm not sure if this is still good, Starsk. It's all separated, and I can't tell how old it is. From the looks of the house, it's been a few years since it was painted."  
Starsky stood up, brushing the dust off his hands. "Well, a few gallons of paint can't cost that much. We can pick up a couple of paint brushes and some turpentine, too."  
"OK, but it's getting late. Why don't we hook the trailer up to the tractor and load the stuff for the fence? We can knock off early and go into town in the morning. That will give us time to check and see if we need anything else from the store while we're in town."  
"That's a good idea, Ollie. I could use something cold to drink before we get started, too."  
"Partner, you must have read my mind. I feel like I could spit cotton right about now. How about some of that lemonade you made earlier?"  
Starsky grinned. "I think I can arrange that."  
They went back into the house to cool off and drink the lemonade, then went back to the barn for the tractor and trailer. Hutch hooked the trailer to the tractor and both men loaded the fence rails first then added nails and two hammers.   
Hutch nodded to himself. "I think that does it. We need to look in the shed and in the house and see if we can find a couple pairs of heavy gloves. I don't think communing with nature includes digging splinters out of our hands."  
Starsky grinned evilly. "What about all those hardy ancestors of yours? They did this kind of stuff all day long, every day, and didn't worry about a few splinters."  
Hutch snorted. "Yeah, and they probably cut out all those splinters with a knife and didn't feel any pain. Then they poured whiskey on the cuts to kill the germs, saving a little for a good stiff belt afterwards, of course. I think you've been watching too much television, Starsk."  
The brunette grinned. "You're probably right. I know I couldn't handle this all of the time. I prefer to work with my hands inside, with a cool drink in one of them."   
"Thank God we don't have to. We've got people like your Uncle Archie that loved to do it. Well, are you ready to knock off for the day? We can have dinner and I'll even challenge you to a game of Monopoly afterwards."  
Starsky gave his friend a rueful smile. "Gee, you're all heart, partner. It's a good thing my ego is healthy, at least. You know I stink at Monopoly."  
Hutch patted Starsky on the shoulder. "Just think of the law of averages, Starsk. If you keep playing long enough, one of these days you'll actually win a game."  
"In that case, there's hope for you yet, too. Sooner or later, you have GOT to win a game of chess."  
They drove into town the next morning, with a list of supplies they needed. They bought the paint and brushes first then went to the small grocery store down the block. As they were shopping, Sheriff Bradley came into the store. He walked up to them, smiling.  
"Well, hello there! How are the repairs coming on the house? We haven't seen much of you two since you got here."  
Starsky gave him a friendly smile. "It's going pretty good, Sheriff. We just didn't know there was so much to be done. We're getting ready to paint the outside of the house and make some repairs to the fence. We needed some fresh paint and other supplies, so we thought we'd pick up a few groceries while we were in town. I don't know who stocked the freezer and refrigerator for us, but they did a great job. All we need is a few basics."  
"I think you can thank Katie Sutton for that. She's a good friend of Gertie's. They used to get together at the end of a harvest, or when they slaughtered a cow or pig, and cook up a storm. Knowing Gertie, she left Katie a good supply of food when she left. And Katie is as good a cook as Gertie."  
Hutch smiled gratefully. "Then you'll have to introduce us some time so we can thank her personally. We've spent so much time eating take out and pizza that a home cooked meal is a godsend. It's a good thing we have so much to do at the house or you'd have to roll us out of here when we left."  
Bradley grinned and patted his own stomach. "I know what you mean. If I didn't get so much exercise, I'd have to loosen my belt a few notches, too. Well, I need to get back on patrol, so I'll let you get back to your shopping. It was nice to see you again. Don't be strangers, you hear?"  
Before the sheriff could turn, Hutch remembered the hunter they saw in the fields.  
"Oh, by the way, we saw a hunter in the fields behind Gertie's place. What's in season this time of year?"  
Bradley turned back to him, scratching his head. "There isn't anything in season. Rabbit season is a couple of months away and deer season isn't until fall. We have a few squirrel hunters, but they usually go up farther than your place. I'll tell you what; if you hear any shots around there, give me a call. We might be off the beaten path, but the state still frowns on poachers. Don't try to go after this guy alone, just call me and I'll call the game warden."  
Hutch smiled. "Don't worry, Sheriff, we're on vacation. This is your territory. We're just visitors."  
Bradley slapped the blond on the back. "Now that's the kind of talk I like to hear. I wish some of my constituents listened to me that well. I'll be seeing you around."  
Starsky and Hutch paid for their groceries and loaded them into the car. They ate a light lunch and then started on the fence. Some of the rails had fallen, but were still good enough to use, so they simply nailed them back in place and went on to the next marker. It didn't take the two men long to get accustomed to fitting the new rails in place, then holding them up while they hammered the nails in. They made good progress and covered the first acre of fencing by the late afternoon.   
Starsky helped Hutch unload another fence rail then wiped his face with a handkerchief. "A man can sure work up a sweat doin' this stuff. How far have we gotten so far?"  
"Well, the tractor doesn't have an odometer, but I think we've gotten past the first acre, anyway."  
Starsky said sarcastically, "Oh, good, that means we have only nine acres to go, more or less. When I think that Archie did this all of the time and never got paid for it, I don't know if he was dedicated or just plain crazy. You couldn't pay me enough to do this for a living."  
Hutch agreed. "I guess it's different when it's your place. It makes you respect the farmers that worked the land without any machinery in the old days, that's for sure."  
Starsky shuddered. "I don't even want to think about it. Hey, why don't we finish this one and call it a day? Tomorrow we can work a little on the house and just kinda relax."  
Hutch slapped him on the back. "Now you're learning. Rome wasn't built in a day, and this place won't be finished in a day, either. Come on; let's get this baby into place."  
They lifted the rail and put each end into the notches in the fence posts. Starsky casually looked down as he waited for Hutch to nail his end of the rail. A slight movement caught his eye and he bent down to take a closer look. His eyes widened and he dropped the rail when he saw what was causing the grass to move. Without a word, he sprinted past Hutch and jumped onto the trailer. The end Hutch had just nailed to the post fell to the ground as the lone nail gave way to gravity. Hutch jumped back before the rail could land on his foot.  
"Hey! Next time, give me some warning before you let go!" Then he glared at his friend. "Starsky, what are you doing in that trailer?"  
Starsky pointed a shaky finger and said one word. "Snake!"   
The blonde moved a few paces back, startled. Then he looked around carefully. "I don't see anything. Are you sure it wasn't your imagination?"  
"I saw it move, Hutch. And I wasn't about to wait until my imagination bit me!"  
"Well, was it poisonous?"  
Starsky glared back at Hutch. "I didn't stop to ask!"   
Hutch laughed and walked over to the trailer. "Here, hand me that sickle and I'll cut the grass down a bit. You stay in the trailer and I'll let you know when the big bad snake is gone."  
Starsky pointed a threatening finger at him. "Keep it up, Blondie, and you'll finish the fence by yourself."  
Hutch looked over his shoulder as he cut the grass down. "You really should talk to somebody about that phobia, Starsk. It isn't healthy. Just remember that the snake was probably as afraid of you as you were of it."  
Starsky watched the blond from the safety of the trailer. "That's real comforting, Blintz. I'll keep that in mind the next time I get bit."  
After he cut a large area around the fence, Hutch coaxed his friend out of the trailer and they finished the last rail for the day. The blond glanced at Starsky and smiled as they headed back to the house.  
"Relax, Gordo, it was just a garden snake. They aren't dangerous."  
Starsky cast a suspicious eye at Hutch. "What makes you so sure?"  
"If it was a rattler, you would have heard it, right before it bit you."  
Starsky crossed his arms against his chest and sulked. "You're mean, Hutch. Do you know that? You're just plain mean."  
Hutch laughed as he pulled the tractor back into the barn. "Come on, tenderfoot, let's get something to eat and go to bed early. We can sleep late tomorrow and do some painting on the house when we get up."  
"That's a good idea, Ollie. After the day we've put in, I think I could eat a horse."  
Hutch smiled sweetly. "Would you settle for a nice thick steak instead?"  
Starsky made a rude gesture then grinned. "Smart ass."   
They made sure the barn door was shut securely then walked back to the house. As Hutch opened the door, Starsky mumbled to himself. "At least we mowed the grass around the house. I've seen all the snakes I want to see on this trip."  
A dinner fit for a king soothed Starsky's ruffled feathers. The two men fell into bed, exhausted, and were asleep as soon as their heads hit the pillows. They woke up about the same time and flipped a coin for the shower. Hutch won the toss, so Starsky cooked breakfast while the blond showered and dressed for the day.   
Starsky was whistling a merry tune as Hutch walked into the kitchen. He threw a grin over his shoulder as he cracked two eggs into the skillet.  
"You know, a man could get used to this. There aren't any alarm clocks waking us up, no phone calls at ungodly hours of the night, and no schedules to keep. I think I'm getting spoiled."  
"I know what you mean, buddy. I think I'm getting lazy in my old age."  
Starsky sat a plate of food in front of his friend. "Well, don't get too comfortable, because we still have to paint the house. Of course, no one said we had to paint the whole house in one afternoon."  
"Thank God for that! And this time, you watch what you're doing. If you slip on that ladder again, I'm going to put a net under you so you won't break your fool neck."  
Starsky grinned. "You're sure you don't want to hire a couple of firemen to hold that net?" He laughed out loud at his friend's severe expression. "Just kidding, Blintz. I'll be careful."  
Hutch wiped his mustache with a napkin and stood up. "Come on; let's do the dishes and get outside. We've got several hours of day light left. We should be able to get a good start on the house before dark."  
They spent several hours chipping the old paint from the front of the house. Finally, they were ready to start painting. With both men working, they finished the first coat of paint before night fall. The sun was starting to set as they hauled the ladders back to the shed and cleaned their paint brushes.   
After dinner, they sat outside on the porch and talked. For once, the conversation stayed far from the demons that were plaguing Hutch. Instead, Starsky told stories of his visits to the farm, when his aunt and uncle were young and in good health. Hutch watched his friend's face as he relived the good times, and smiled to himself. He could already see the too thin frame filling out and the boundless energy that was David Starsky returning to his blue eyes. *No matter what happens when we go back, this was a good idea. I haven't seen you look this good since the shooting, or as relaxed. Come to think of it, I haven't felt this relaxed since the shooting.* Finally, Hutch stood up, putting his hand on the brunette's shoulder.   
"Come on, partner, time for bed. It's getting late and we've still got a lot to do tomorrow."  
Starsky was sleeping soundly when he heard the yelling from across the hall. He jumped out of bed and ran to Hutch's room, turning on the light as he rushed through the door. The blond was thrashing in his bed, crying out in his sleep.  
"Starsky, get down! Starsky! Damn it, Starsky, where are you?"  
Starsky sat down on the bed and gently shook Hutch's shoulder.  
"Hey, buddy, wake up. You're having a bad dream."  
Hutch sat up with a gasp then slumped against the wall. He swiped at his face with a shaky hand and closed his eyes.   
Starsky kept his voice low. "It's okay, partner. I'm right here. It was just a dream."  
Hutch shook his head furiously. "No, it wasn't just a dream, Starsky! GUNTHER wasn't just a dream. He was my worst nightmare and he's never going to go away. You can sit on that damn porch all you want to and tell me cute little stories about your childhood, but it isn't going to work. It's not going to change the fact that he damn near killed you. And you want us to go back so the next scumbag can have another chance at it? Where the Hell do you get off expecting me to go through that again?"  
Starsky got up, throwing his hands up in surrender. "Fine, go ahead and quit if that's what you want to do! I'm tired of arguing with you. Go on! Go dig yourself a hole and crawl in it. Throw everything we've done in the past ten years away and find some safe little world to hide in. But you'd better understand this: you'll be doing it alone. I'm not going to let Gunther, or anyone else, keep me from doing what I want to do, and that includes you."  
Hutch jumped out of bed and stalked around the room. "You just don't get it, do you? Nobody gives a damn what we do, Starsky! Remember what you told me? We're two bugs in a toilet and every time we swim to the top, somebody flushes the toilet. If we keep on going long enough, some body's going to squash us. When we're gone, no one's going to remember who we were or what we did."  
Starsky glared back. "I don't give a damn if anyone remembers! I'm not going to sit back and let creeps like Gunther win. I believe in what I'm doing, and as long as I'm still breathing, I'm going to keep fighting. I thought you would, too. I guess I was wrong."  
He started to walk out of the room, but the sound of Hutch's voice stopped him.   
"Fine, go ahead and walk away. I knew you would eventually."  
Starsky clenched his fists in anger and faced the blond. "What did you say? I'm not walking out on you, Hutch. You're walking out on us."  
"Why not? You did it once. The only difference is this time you're standing on both feet instead of lying in a coffin."   
"What? Did you think I wanted to get shot? That's crazy, Hutch!"  
The pain in Hutch's eyes was almost too much for Starsky to bear. "Then why didn't you just get down? Why did you let them do that to you? You left me, Starsky. I wanted to protect you, but you wouldn't let me. Why didn't you let me?"  
All of his anger left as Starsky finally understood the truth. He walked over to his friend and held him tightly.   
"You weren't to blame for me getting shot. You yelled for me to get down, remember? You did the best that you could. You didn't fail me, Hutch. You haven't failed any one."  
Hutch shook his head sadly. "I wasn't fast enough. I couldn't get my gun out and I couldn't get around that damned car fast enough! I should have been watching your back. I never meant for it to happen. If I could have traded places with you, I would have."  
Starsky cupped Hutch's neck with his hand as two foreheads touched. "I know you would, buddy. That's who you are. You take the weight of the whole world on your shoulders and when something goes wrong, you kick yourself for it. You've done more good in ten years than most men do in a lifetime. Don't let that son of a bitch take that away from you. He's not worth it."  
Hutch touched the brunette's cheek. "I thought you were going to die. I was so angry with you, because you were going to leave me. I prayed and prayed that you would live, but I was afraid I would fail at that, too. I couldn't forgive myself if you died. Please don't leave me, Starsky."  
"I'm not going to leave you, Hutch. I promise." He led Hutch back to the bed and sat down with him.   
Hutch took a shaky breath and tried to regain his composure. "I've always tried to keep you safe. When Bellamy gave you that shot, I tore the streets up looking for an antidote. I terrorized everybody in sight, even poor Cheryl. It went right down to the wire, but we made it. When Marcus had you, I went crazy. I begged those idiots to tell me where you were. I went back a dozen times to talk to that psycho and threatened to take his head off if something happened to you. I didn't know where you were, but I knew if I kept looking, I'd find you in time, and I did."  
He looked at Starsky, reliving the horrors of seeing his friend hurt. "We've always made it in the nick of time, Starsk. It didn't matter how far away you were, I always found you. But you were just across the car and I couldn't protect you. I heard the shots and I tried to tell you to get down, but I couldn't save you. What's going to happen next time, Starsk? I'm scared that one day we'll be walking down the street together and someone will blow you away while you're right beside me. I don't think I could handle that if it happened."  
Starsky put his arm around his friend. "The risks are part of the job, Hutch. You can only do so much. We're not invincible."  
Hutch gave him a small grin. "I think I know where you can get a suit of armor, cheap. It's a little tarnished, but I think it would fit."  
Starsky pulled his friend close. "Nah, that's OK, buddy. You keep it."  
Hutch sighed forlornly. "What are we going to do, Starsk?"   
Starsky thought for a moment. "I'll make a deal with you. If I'm reinstated, we'll go back on the streets for six months. If I can't cut it, or you just plain can't handle it, we'll do something different. We can still be cops without being on the street."  
Sky blue eyes widened. "You'd do that for me?"  
"No, partner, I'd do it for us. Now get some sleep. We still have a farm to take care of."  
Hutch settled back in the bed and let Starsky cover him up. For the first time since the shooting, he thought maybe things would turn out right after all.  
Starsky slept fitfully, keeping one ear open for sounds coming from the other room. The rest of the night passed quietly and he fell deeply asleep around dawn. When he awoke, the sun was shining in the small window. Startled, he jumped out of bed and walked quickly across the hall. He felt a small tingle of alarm when he saw Hutch's bed was empty. He stood quietly and listened for any sounds in the house. The clinking of pots and pans drifted from the kitchen. He forced himself to stroll nonchalantly into the room.   
Hutch was standing in front of the stove, cooking. He glanced over his shoulder and smiled shyly. "Morning, Starsk. I hope you're hungry. I found a slab of hickory smoked bacon in the freezer and thought it would go great with the eggs."  
Starsky grinned, playing along. "What, no biscuits?"  
"I'm one step ahead of you, Gordo. They're in the oven, staying warm. It's a good thing you got up when you did. Another few minutes and they would have been hard enough to break a window."  
"God forbid. The last thing I want to do is replace a window."  
"Then sit down and eat before it gets cold."  
Starsky did as he was told. As he ate, he watched Hutch closely. Over a second cup of coffee, he asked the question on his mind.   
"How are you feeling this morning?"  
Hutch inclined his head slightly. "I feel better, actually. I think I've been angry with you all this time for getting shot and I didn't realize it. I know that sounds stupid, but whenever I thought of how close you came to dying this time, it scared the Hell out of me. I felt like if I couldn't protect you while you were that close to me, how was I going to protect you when we went back on the street?"  
"Do you realize now that it wasn't your fault?"  
"I think so. But Gunther was just the straw that broke the camel's back. We've had some crappy cases over the past couple of years and I was already beginning to have doubts about this job. When I threw my badge into the ocean, I never planned on putting it on again. Then Allison came along and I felt like the job was sucking me back in, whether I wanted to go or not. I started thinking that the only way to keep us both alive was to get out for good. I know Dobey was trying to keep me occupied by having me train those recruits, but that only made things worse."  
Starsky frowned. "Why is that?"  
"Did you see Johnson? He's a kid. They all were. I felt like Judas leading the lambs to slaughter. They had the same ideals we did when we graduated the academy and look where it's gotten us. I didn't want to see them end up feeling the way I did and that just made me resent the badge that much more."  
"And when I told you that I was ready to go back, you felt trapped."  
"In a way, I did. I hate to admit this, but I was hoping Dr. Martel would say you weren't ready yet. I thought that would buy me enough time to get my head on straight."  
Starsky squeezed Hutch's arm. "Why didn't you tell me how you were feeling?"  
"I watched you fight your way back from the brink and I just couldn't do it. I thought I could play along, but when you told me you were ready, I knew I couldn't go back. So I used the anger to keep from admitting how I really felt. I was terrified, Starsk. I was afraid that I would screw up because of the way I was feeling and really get you killed this time."  
Starsky gave him an encouraging smile. "Well, you got it out in the open now, so we can work through it. We're going to get some crappy cases, Hutch, but that's what we do. We see the worst in people and sometimes it makes it hard to see the good. But you can't hold it inside. You gotta move on and chalk it up to experience. The slime won't drown us if we don't let it."  
Hutch sighed. "I know, Starsk. I can't promise that I'll do that, but I'll try."  
"That's all anybody can do, partner."  
Starsky finished his coffee and stood up. "Do you feel like doing some more painting today? Or would you rather we just finish the fence and take it easy the rest of the day? Whatever you want to do is fine with me."  
"Why don't we just play it by ear? We don't have that much left to do on the fence, so we can take care of that this morning. Then we can eat lunch and if we're not too tired, we can work on the house. We still have a few days before we go back, at least."  
"That sounds like a plan to me. Come on; let's get the trailer loaded up and get to it. It looks like it's going to be a nice day."  
It didn't take long to finish repairing the fence on the back part of the property. Hutch turned the tractor around and headed back to the barn for the last load of rails when they saw the strange man again. This time, he noticed them. Hutch raised a hand in greeting, but the man turned away and rushed into the woods.   
Starsky frowned as he watched the man disappear. "He doesn't seem too friendly, does he? Maybe he really is poaching. You think we should call the sheriff and let him know we saw him again?"  
Hutch nodded. "It wouldn't hurt. God only knows what he's hunting, but Bradley said there isn't anything in season right now. When we get back to the house, we'll give him a call."  
They didn't have to make the call, though, because Bradley was waiting for them when they arrived. The two men exchanged looks then walked up to the SUV.  
Starsky smiled slightly. "Good morning, Sheriff. How's it going?"  
Bradley shook his head. "Not too good, David. We've got a young'un missing."  
Hutch raised an eyebrow, confused. "Young'un?"  
"Sorry, I mean a child. Little Jessie Chapman is about seven years old and lives on the other side of those woods over there. Mr. and Mrs. Chapman got up about six this morning, like they always do, and went out to do the chores before they left for work. Jessie was playing in the yard, but when Mrs. Chapman called her in for breakfast about 7:30, Jessie was gone. They looked all around the place, but couldn't find her. Their place sits right in the middle of those woods, so she could have just wandered off, but Mrs. Chapman says that's not like Jessie. She knows they have to get her off to school before they can leave for work, so she always stays close to home. When she still didn't show up by ten o'clock, Jerry called me. Right now, they're worried, but not frantic. But Jessie was only wearing shorts and a tee shirt, and sneakers. It will be pretty warm today, but when the sun sets, it cools down fast. These woods can be dangerous for a child alone. We're getting together a search party and I thought you might lend a hand."  
Hutch nodded quickly. "Sure, just tell us where you want us to go. Oh, by the way, we saw that hunter a little while ago. He was behind the field again and went into the woods about the same place he did the other day."  
Bradley frowned. "Can you describe him?"  
Starsky thought for a moment. "He was about 5'9", about 150 pounds, and was wearing a camouflaged jacket, jeans, and either cowboy boots or work boots. We still couldn't see what he had in his hands, but it could have been a rifle."  
Bradley was taking notes as Starsky spoke. "Did you see anything else?"  
Hutch added, "He had a back pack. I think it was black or dark blue. And he was wearing a cap of some kind. It wasn't really a ball cap, but maybe a hunter's cap with the ear flaps turned up."  
"Was the cap green, with tan flaps, and did it have writing on it?"  
Hutch nodded. "I think so, but we couldn't see what it said. Why, do you know who it was?"  
Bradley sighed dejectedly. "I have a good idea. Let me call my dispatcher and check something out. I think the hunter and Jessie's disappearance could be connected."  
He reached into the SUV and picked up the microphone. "Hey, Mabel, are you there?"  
"I'm right here, Sheriff. Did you find Jessie?"  
"Not yet, but I want you to do something for me. Call down at Nelson's garage and see if Frank Burger came to work today."  
The two detectives could hear the puzzlement in her voice. "OK, Sheriff, I'll do it right now and get back to you. It'll only take a minute."  
"Thanks, Mabel. And don't say anything to old man Nelson. Just ask him if Frank is working and get back to me."  
As he waited for Mabel to call back, Bradley explained his request to the two men.  
"Frank has been going through some tough times lately. He lost his little girl right after Christmas. She fell into a pond and though we pulled her out before she drowned, she came down with pneumonia a few days later. The doctors did all they could for her, and they even flew her to the children's hospital in San Francisco by helicopter, but she never pulled out of it. Then Frank's wife up and left him, a few weeks later. I guess she blamed Frank for it, because he was supposed to be watching Lori while she was at work. Old man Nelson told me a couple of weeks ago that Frank was missing a lot of work, and going off in the woods by himself. I've seen him a few times myself, but I didn't force the issue because he wasn't bothering anybody. The last time I saw Frank, he was wearing that hat and backpack. Lori Burger was in the same class with Jessie Chapman."   
Hutch glanced at his partner then turned back to the sheriff. "So you think he might have snapped and taken Jessie as a substitute for his little girl?"  
Bradley sighed. "It's a possibility. My own kids are grown and have kids of their own now, but I know how I'd feel if I lost one of my grandkids. Don't get me wrong. Frank's a pretty good guy. He's never been in any trouble, except for a few fights when he was younger. But this kind of loss can make anyone go a little insane."  
Before either man could comment, the radio beeped and Mabel's voice came through. "Sheriff, are you there?"  
"Go ahead, Mabel. What did old man Nelson say?"  
"Frank hasn't been to work all week long. He called Nelson Sunday night and told him he was going to visit his brother in Nevada."  
Bradley frowned. "You sure he said Nevada?"  
"That's what old man Nelson said."  
"OK, Mabel, thanks. I'll be back in town in a little bit. Keep everyone close to the station. I want to get the search party on the road as soon as possible."  
"Sure thing, Sheriff. Out."  
Bradley shook his head with regret. "Well, that cinches it. Frank's brother moved to Arizona a year ago. If he told old man Nelson that he was going to Nevada, he was throwing up a smoke screen. I think our missing person's case just turned into a kidnapping."  
Starsky shook his head sadly. The loss of a child would make any man snap. "So what do you want us to do?"  
Bradley scratched his head. "I'll tell you what; why don't you go back to where you saw the man and look around a little. Be careful. I know you aren't familiar with the woods either and we don't want to have to hunt for you, too. If you spot Frank and can follow him without spooking him, do it. I've got an extra radio with me. Give me a call if you find anything."  
Hutch gazed steadily at him. "Remember Sheriff, we don't have any authority out here. We're just visitors."  
Bradley grinned crookedly. "I can remedy that. Hold up your right hands."  
They did as they were instructed and Bradley swore them in. "I hereby appoint you as deputies pro-tem for the duration of the Jessie Chapman case. You are accorded the authority and responsibility of Deputies of Mariposa County and will be expected to abide by its laws and regulations. Do you accept this appointment? Say I do."  
Both men repeated, "I do."  
Bradley nodded. "So we have that formality taken care of. I know you're on vacation, but do you have your weapons with you? I don't want you going up against Frank unarmed, especially if he's unstable."  
Starsky smiled. "You know how cops are, Sheriff. We never go anywhere completely unarmed. They're in the house."  
"Good. I don't want to see Frank get hurt, because I know he isn't himself right now, but Jessie's safety is our main priority. "  
Hutch nodded. "We've had experience with this type of case before, Sheriff. We'll do our best to make sure no one gets hurt."  
"Good. I'll get back to town and get the rest of the search party organized. For now, don't talk to anyone but me. We've got some good people in this town, but we don't want anyone to panic and start shooting at everything that moves."  
Bradley reached through the window of the SUV and took one of the radios out of the glove compartment. He handed it to Starsky.  
"It's already set on the right frequency. I'll have the other radio with me and any calls will go to the car, too. Good luck, you two, and thanks."  
Starsky smiled encouragingly. "Don't worry, Sheriff. We'll find her."  
"I hope so. And don't forget; this is only supposition right now. Jessie still could have wandered off and Frank may just be taking some time alone to get himself together. Don't rule anything out."  
"We won't, Sheriff. We'll keep in touch."  
Bradley checked his watch and looked up at the sky. "I figure we have about five or six hours of daylight left. If we don't find something pretty soon, I'm going to call out our K-9 unit. Beauregard is getting a little long in the tooth, but he's still got that bloodhound nose. If she's anywhere around, he'll sniff her out, even if we can't see her. I sure don't want to think about that little girl being out there by herself after dark."  
He shook his head worriedly and climbed back into the SUV. As he pulled away, he raised his hand in a farewell.   
They watched him until he was out of sight, then Hutch turned to his partner.  
"Well, let's get moving. There's a compass in the desk drawer, too. We'll grab it just in case."  
Starsky looked at his friend with suspicion. "Do you really know how to read one of those things?"  
Hutch shrugged. "How hard can it be? You just keep the arrow pointed north."  
Starsky followed the blond into the house, grumbling. "Now, why doesn't that make me feel better?"  
Although neither man had planned on a rescue operation in the woods, they managed to find appropriate clothing. To help them blend in with their surroundings, both men dressed in dark colored clothing then put on their holsters over their tee shirts. Starsky found a rifle that Archie had used in his younger days for hunting, and after making sure it was in working condition, he loaded it and put extra shells in his pocket.   
They unhitched the trailer and drove the tractor back to where they'd seen the man go into the woods. Hutch parked the tractor in a stand of trees and they started walking. They walked slowly, stopping often to listen. The only sounds they heard were from the small animals scampering through the trees. Starsky clipped the radio that Bradley had given him to his belt and they could hear the voices of the rest of the search party through it. He stopped to sip water from the small bottle in his back pack.  
He turned to Hutch. "Where do you think they'll start looking?"  
"I would guess closer to the Chapman's place. I don't hear anyone close by, so I assume Bradley's keeping his suspicions about Frank Burger to himself right now."  
"Yeah, that makes sense. Like he said, we don't know these people, so the man we saw could be just another hunter and not Burger at all. He's keeping all his options open like any good cop would."  
"Right. If Burger is innocent, even a charge would be damaging, especially in a small town like this. People would look at him differently and that matters a lot more in Lamont than it would in Bay City. I hope she is just lost, Starsk. That would be scary enough for a little kid, but being held against your will by someone that is unbalanced would be even worse. It would be enough to scar her for life, if he goes too far."  
Starsky put his hand on the blond's shoulder. "Then we have to make sure we find her before he does, if he has her. Now point that compass of yours in the right direction and let's get going."  
The sun was getting alarmingly low in the sky when Bradley's voice came over the radio.   
"David, Ken, you boys out there?"  
Starsky unclipped the radio. "We're here, Sheriff. Have you had any luck?"  
"No, not so far. What about you two? Have you seen any sign of that hunter you were talking about?"  
Starsky surmised that there were others close to the radio, so he kept his comments general. "We haven't seen anybody since we got here, Sheriff. We'll keep looking though and let you know if we find anything."  
"You do that. I've called in the K-9 unit and he should be here shortly. If we find Jessie, I'll give a yell. Keep in touch and be careful."  
Hutch shook his head grimly. "Damn, I was hoping they'd found her."  
Starsky nodded. "Well, standin' here flapping our gums ain't gonna find her, so let's get back to it."  
They continued their search, going deeper into the woods. They stopped occasionally, looking at the sun. The two men exchanged glances, their expressions glum. They knew they would soon have to return to the farm or risk being lost also. Starsky was about to voice his thoughts when a flash from the corner of his eye caught his attention. He pointed to a small clearing to his right.  
"Hutch, did you see that?"  
"I didn't see anything. Did you see someone?"  
"I'm not sure. Come on; let's get a little closer."  
They walked silently through the trees until they reached the clearing. Hutch looked closely and pointed a finger.   
"Look, Starsk! That looks like an old cabin right behind those trees."  
"Yeah, it does. Maybe we found something, partner. It's about time. Another hour and it will be dark."  
Starsky walked in front with the rifle while Hutch took out his magnum and followed him. They stood behind a large tree and peeked around cautiously. At first, the cabin seemed deserted, but then they saw a movement inside. They watched for a few moments, uncertain what to do. Then, about ten minutes later, the man they had seen came out of the cabin and went back into the woods. The two detectives ducked behind the tree and watched him leave. Starsky motioned to his partner.   
"Come on; we don't know how long he's going to be gone and I want to see inside that cabin."  
They crossed the clearing quickly and ducked into the cabin, keeping an eye out for the stranger they had seen. Starsky went in first then moved slightly to let Hutch in. As their eyes became accustomed to the dimness, they could see a tiny figure huddled on the only bed in the room. Starsky handed the rifle to Hutch then knelt down a few feet from the bed.  
"Hi, honey. Are you Jessie Chapman?"  
The little girl sniffled, her eyes wide with fear. "Uh huh. Who are you?"  
"My name is David, and this is Ken. We've come to take you home. Can you tell us what happened?"  
Jessie wiped her face with a small hand. "I was playing in the yard and saw Bambi eating Mommy's corn. I wanted to pet her, but she ran off, so I chased her. I got lost and then Mr. Burger found me. I thought he was going to take me home, but he kept calling me Lori and said that I shouldn't be so close to the water by myself. I wasn't near any water, and I kept telling him my name wasn't Lori, but he wouldn't listen. I just wanted to go home, but it's like he couldn't hear me."  
"I think Mr. Burger is confused, sweetheart. I don't think he meant to scare you, but he's really sad about Lori. Do you know what happened to her?"  
"Uh huh, she got sick and went to Heaven. Is that why he's sad? Does he miss her?"  
"Yes, sweetheart, he misses her very much. But your Mommy and Daddy miss you, too. So we're going to take you home now. I know you're probably tired and hungry, but do you think you can walk? We have a tractor parked not far from here, so when we get back to it, we can ride the rest of the way to your house."  
"Can I help steer? My daddy let's me drive our tractor sometimes."  
Starsky smiled kindly. "Sure, honey. We're not from around here anyway, so you can show us where you live. Are you ready?"  
Jessie nodded. "I'm ready. I want to go home."  
Starsky stood up and took the radio from his belt. "Sheriff Bradley, are you there?"  
Bradley's voice came back instantly. "I'm here, David. What have you got?"  
"We found her, Sheriff. She's fine."  
"Was she alone?"  
Starsky's voice was filled with regret. "She is now, but she wasn't earlier. The person we were speaking of was holding her against her will. But he's gone now, so we're going to try and get her out of here before he comes back."  
"Where are you? Oh, that's a stupid question. You probably don't know where you are exactly."  
Starsky smiled briefly. "You got that right. We're in an old deserted cabin close to where we saw the hunter go into the woods. Can't tell you how far in, though. These woods look alike to us foreigners."  
He could hear the amusement in Bradley's voice. "That's OK. You can't help it if you're a tenderfoot. There's a red button on the side of the radio. Push it in and it will emit a homing signal so I can find you."  
Starsky looked on the side of the radio and pushed the button as instructed. "Got it. We really don't want to stick around here. If the guy comes back, that could complicate things. So we're gonna head back to our tractor. It shouldn't take us long, so keep an eye out for us."  
"All right, but be careful. Our hunter won't like it if he comes back and sees that Jessie is gone. He'll likely take his anger out on you if you run into him."  
The two men shared a look again then Starsky spoke into the radio. "We understand, Sheriff. What's your ETA?"  
"I'm back in the car and I'm leaving right now. I should be there in about fifteen or twenty minutes. When you get back to the tractor, let me know. If he still isn't around, go on back to Gertie's and wait for me there."  
"Roger that. Starsky out."  
Starsky offered his hand to Jessie. "Are you ready, sweetheart?"  
"I'm ready. Can I have a drink of water when I get home? I'm awful thirsty."  
Starsky made a face and offered her the bottle of water. "I'm sorry, honey. Here, it's not cold, but it's wet. We'll get you a nice big glass of ice water when we get you home."  
She took the bottle and finished the water then handed it back to him. "Thank-you. Can I have a hamburger when I get home, too?"  
"I think your mommy will fix you whatever you want when she sees how brave you've been. We'll have you home before you can say Rumplestiltskin."  
Jessie giggled and took his hand. Hutch went out first, with the rifle ready, and Starsky followed with Jessie. Starsky felt the itch between his shoulders as they crossed the clearing into the woods. They were almost back to the tractor when Frank Burger stepped into their path. He was holding a shotgun in his hands.  
"OK, stop right there. I don't know who you are, but you're not taking my little girl anywhere. Lori, get over here, now."  
Jessie cowered behind Starsky as Hutch stepped in front of them. The blond kept his voice calm as he clutched the rifle.  
"It's all right, Frank. We're not going to hurt her. This isn't Lori. It's Jessie Chapman and we're taking her home."  
Frank raised his gun. "No! You're not going anywhere! That's my little girl and she's coming home with me."  
"Frank, listen to me. Lori's gone and you can't bring her back. We don't want anyone to get hurt. Put the gun down and let us pass. We need to take Jessie home. Her parents miss her, just like you miss Lori."  
Frank shook his head emphatically. "No! She's my little girl and I'm taking her home. I won't hurt her. She's my baby and I love her. I'm a good father."  
Hutch stepped forward slightly. "I know you are. You never meant for Lori to get hurt. It wasn't your fault. There are some things you can't predict and you did the best you could."  
Tears welled up in Frank's eyes. "She's my baby. I wouldn't ever hurt her. I didn't mean for it to happen. I thought she was right there. I only went into the house for a drink of water. I wasn't drunk. I don't drink anything when I'm watching Lori. When I got back out, she was gone. I looked for her, but I couldn't tell which way she went. I pulled her out of the water, but she got sick. I stayed with her every minute, but I couldn't save her. I tried, but I couldn't save her. I'm a good father!"  
"I know, Frank. You aren't to blame. You did everything you could. You did your best, but it was out of your….hands."  
Hutch stopped as his words came back to him. Starsky had said the same thing to him many times, but now he suddenly understood. He nodded to himself.  
"It's going to be OK, Frank. Losing someone you love is hard, but you'll get through it. I know how much it hurts, believe me, but you have to move on now. You'll see Lori again someday and she'll be so happy to see you! But we have to get Jessie home now. Her parents are really worried about her. You don't want them to worry, do you?"  
Frank rubbed his eyes and let the gun slide to the ground. He peered around Starsky at the frightened child.   
"Jessie? What are you doing out at this time of night? Look at you, child! You'll catch your death of cold."  
He caught his breath and let out a heart-wrenching sob. "Oh, God, what have I done? I'm sorry! I never meant to hurt anyone!"  
Hutch stepped forward and kicked the shotgun away. Starsky turned and picked Jessie up.  
"It's OK, sweetheart. Everything is going to be okay now."  
They both looked up as Sheriff Bradley's SUV roared to a stop. Bradley and a young couple jumped out of the vehicle. Jessie let out a squeal of delight and wriggled out of Starsky's hands. She ran to the couple.  
"Mommy! Daddy!" They gathered her up in their arms and hugged her tightly.  
Bradley went over to Frank and patted him gently on the back. "It's OK, Frank. It's time to go home. You need to rest now."  
He gently handcuffed the distraught man and put him in back of the SUV. Starsky crossed over to where his friend was standing and put an arm around his shoulders. He smiled at the touching scene before him.  
"If you're still wondering if anyone cares, partner, ask those folks. I think they'll tell you they care."  
The two men followed Bradley's SUV back to Gertie's house. Jessie sat on Hutch's lap, helping him steer the tractor as promised. A patrol car was waiting at the farm to take Jessie and her parent's home. After several handshakes and hugs all around, Jessie's parents said good bye and left. Bradley waved a final farewell and left with Frank Burger soon after that, leaving the two detectives alone. They had a quiet celebration and fell into bed, exhausted.  
The next morning, they ate an early breakfast, determined to finish the painting on the house. As they walked out the door, they heard the sound of several vehicles coming up the road.   
Starsky turned to Hutch with a bemused look on his face. "What in the world….?"  
Hutch shook his head briefly as Sheriff Bradley got out of the SUV and walked up to them.  
"Good morning, lads! I was down at the tavern last night, celebrating, and got to telling everyone what you were doing for Gertie. The guys thought you could use some extra hands, if you don't mind the help. It's kind of a thank-you for getting Jessie home safe."  
Hutch glanced at his friend and smiled. "Mind? We'd be eternally grateful, Sheriff. Thanks!"  
Bradley grinned and waved to the other men. "Well, what are we standing here gabbing for? Let's get to work!"  
The other townspeople hauled tools, wood and paint out of their trucks, along with several coolers filled with beer. Several hours later, Gertie's house had a fresh coat of white paint, as did the fence. The field was mowed, and a load of gravel covered the drive way. Even the barn and the other outbuildings were repaired. At last, Gertie and Archie's farm was restored to its previous splendor.   
As the sun was setting, several women arrived at the farm, laden with food. Before they knew it, the two detectives were in the middle of a celebration. As Starsky and Hutch sat on the porch, relaxing in the company of their new friends, Sheriff Bradley walked up to them.   
Starsky asked the question that had been on his mind. "What's going to happen to Frank Burger, Sheriff?"  
"We took him up to 'Frisco for a psychiatric evaluation. He still has to face kidnapping charges, but with your testimony and the doctor's, I think we can keep him out of prison. Losing a child is enough to send anybody into a tailspin and I think the judge will understand that."  
Hutch smiled. "I'm glad. Whenever you need us, let us know. I know what he did was wrong, but Frank Burger doesn't belong in prison. "  
"No, he doesn't. And I talked to his wife on the phone today. She still loves Frank and was really upset when I told her what happened. She was scared to death that he would go to jail. I think I convinced her to get some counseling, too. They may never get back together, but maybe they'll get past Lori's death."  
"Well, that's a start, anyway. Like I said, you have a great town here, Sheriff. I'm glad everything worked out the way it did."  
Bradley smiled. "Yeah, I am, too. Oh, by the way, your Captain called my office yesterday. Mabel told him what was going on and he left a message for you."  
Starsky raised an eyebrow. "Really? What did he say?"  
"He said to tell you that you had an appointment bright and early Monday morning. I guess that means you'll be leaving us?"  
Starsky glanced at Hutch. The blond smiled slightly and nodded. Starsky winked encouragingly.   
"I guess it does, Sheriff. We need to get back to work. I'm going to miss this place though."  
"Well, then, don't be strangers. You're welcome here any time. Don't forget that."  
"We won't, Sheriff."  
Two days later, they loaded the last of their belongings into the Torino. Hutch stood by the door and looked fondly around the farm.   
"You know, I didn't think we would do it. This place looks great."  
"Yeah, it does, with a little help from our friends."  
Starsky laid his hand on his partner's arm. "Remember what I said, buddy. We go back on the street for six months. If I can't cut it, or it gets too much for you, we'll decide what to do next. No matter what happens, we'll make the decision together."  
Hutch clasped his friend's hand in his. "Me and thee, partner, all the way."  
Starsky favored him with a thousand watt grin. "Now you're talkin'."  
They climbed into the Torino and Starsky looked over at the blond.  
"Are you ready, Blintz?"  
Hutch smiled. "Yes, I think I am."  
Starsky turned the Torino around and they drove down the driveway, headed home.


End file.
